"With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility"

Such is the wisdom of Uncle Ben to his nephew, Peter Parker (aka Spider-Man).My friend and I were talking this past week about some similar experiences we have been through and some things we have learned from those experiences, and she asked me, "Would you have done it again if you had the choice?" Whether she knew it or not, that was a very challenging question. I do not enjoy all of the experiences that I have had, nor will I enjoy all of the things I have yet to experience. Not all of my un-enjoyable experiences are bad, but they certainly are challenging, and I find myself coming out of them knowing more than I did before, whether I wanted to or not. Yet, I am now responsible for what I know. A toddler is not expected to do complex math equations because he is probably still learning how to count. However, as this toddler gets older and is taught algebra and geometry and eventually calculus, he is then responsible for completing those more difficult assignments because he now has the knowledge to do so. In the same way, though sometimes I wish I could have stayed ignorant to many things, I have more knowledge than I previously did and I am now responsible for doing what should be done with that knowledge. This may be knowing how to complete a homework assignment or how to balance a check book. It also may be the knowledge of someone's need or of a spiritual truth. All of these things I am responsible for once I become knowledgeable about them.

Going on this trip to Southeast Asia in just over 15 days is a huge wake up call to what I am responsible for: the gospel of Christ. To be honest, I am not a bold person. I enjoy sitting silently in class and listening to other people talk. I am not an eloquent speaker. My brain has trouble processing information quickly (you think I'm being sarcastic, but I'm not), so words don't flow like they should- at least not the right ones. To be even more honest, of all things that I am frightened to talk about, talking about Christ to people who don't know Him is probably the most frightening. I wish it was not the truth, but often when I have the chance to say something, I keep my mouth closed instead. I know the truth of Christ. It has drastically changed my life, and it continues to change my life! It gives me purpose! It gives me hope! It gives me joy and peace! It fulfills me and sustains me! Not only have I experienced salvation, but I know the need of others for salvation, and I am responsible for that knowledge as well. I am so excited to get on that plane in just a few weeks and travel across the world and get to work with such an awesome team of people and get to meet new people and experience a new culture, and I truly am excited about the opportunity to see God work. But I must remind myself of the knowledge (and the power) that I am responsible for, whether at school, at home, or in a foreign country.

God, Forgive me for not taking my responsibility more seriously. Thank you for allowing me to experience Your grace. Please be with my team and me as we travel in just a few weeks. Give us the boldness to share Your truth with the people we build relationships there. Provide us with moments to share how You have changed our lives, and provide us with the exact words to say in those moments. I trust You.

Financial Update!

Hello, everyone! I just wanted to take a little time to update you as to how I'm doing financially! I will be leaving for my trip in just over a month, and of right now, I have raised $3,216! It is incredible to think of how all of that money has come in! I was talking to a friend a couple of weeks ago, saying that I signed up for this trip already with an idea of how God was going to provide the finances, and though He definately has provided, it certainly hasn't been in the way that I thought it would be. In fact, there was a lot of humbling on my part throughout this whole process, but now that the end is in sight, it is exciting to see how it has all come together! Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who has been supporting me, not only financially, but through prayer as well! I haven't reached the goal yet, though! With just over a month until the trip, I still have to raise just over $400. If you would like to be a part of supporting my team and I as we build relationships with the people of Southeast Asia, please visit the "Support Southeast Asia" page. Thank you again for all of your support, whether through giving money, through prayer, or even by visiting this blog! I really do appreciate all of it!

Passion for People

Perhaps it makes me a little bit of a dork, but I consider myself pretty youtube savvy. I just really like watching short videos. It's about all my attention span can handle. However, I had never seen this video until one of my friends showed it to me last night:



Seriously? This is an embarrassment to every sane person in the state of North Carolina... and the entire world. Honestly, it's hard not to laugh at some of the things these people do and say. Yet, at the same time, watching this video makes me a little angry. There are people DYING everywhere around the world! People- PEOPLE- are starving, they are being trafficked and sold into slavery (domestic labor and sexual). There are children being taken out of their homes to become soldiers. There are people in the world who experience more hurt and pain in one day than I could ever imagine experiencing in a lifetime. And these activists are screaming and wailing about cutting down trees and the life of rocks! Maybe I am just ignorant and inexperienced, but that is just ridiculous. Watching this video, though, got me thinking: what if Christians were that passionate about the things that really DO matter?

I was studying the word passion recently because it is a topic that has come up a lot this semester, and I learned that though it is defined today as "strong and barely controllable emotion," (OED) it comes from the Latin word 'pati' meaning "to suffer". It's kind of a hard concept for me to grasp, and I don't think I have a complete handle on it yet- the idea of passion and suffering going together. Yet, watching this video, it is obvious that the passion and the suffering of these activitst, ridiculous though they may be, go hand-in-hand. So, watching this video, there were two questions that came to my mind:

Question One: What if we cried out to God with the same passion? What difference would that make in how we relate to God? What if we sought Him out with such yearning and burning in our hearts? Trees don't talk back. I know that's such a silly statement, but I think that these people were crying and screaming to the trees more fervently than I sometimes do to a great, holy, yet personal, active God.

Question Two: What if we were burdened for people like they were burdened? What impact would that make on the world around us? Something that I've learned about myself is that, generally, I have a passion for people. Yet, I struggle to have a passion for persons. What if my passion was to see lives saved like these people wanted to see the trees saved? What if I acted on such a passion? Once again, you are not likely to get a response from a tree or a rock, but people are an investment. What kind of response would that bring? I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want to be consumed in passion for God and for worshipping Him through sharing with others. I don't mean that I want to walk around screaming and crying all the time, but I do want to have a sense of burden for things of eternal significance that mimics their passion for things of less importance. I want to have a yearning to know God and a passion for people.

God, Refine me of the selfish desires of my heart, and fill me with a passion for You and for Your people.

Whatever seems good to You.

Right now I'm reading through 2 Samuel. It's definitely a good book (it's part of the Bible, it has to be, right?). There's a lot of plot to follow, a lot of action and drama, and I'm really enjoying learning the history of Israel. However, 2 Samuel has also been very hard to read. Just recently I've read through the stories of David and Bathsheba and Uriah as well as Tamar and Amnon and Absalom, and those are not kind stories! In fact, just yesterday I began reading the story of Absalom's conspiracy against the king (his own father!) in chapter 15. I'm not finished reading the story, but basically, this is what I've gathered so far:

Absalom wants to become king, so every day he goes to the gate of the city and tells people coming in that there is no one to listen to their complaints, but that if he were king, he would make sure they were heard! He also tells his dad (King David) that he wants to go to Hebron to worship, but brings a whole lot of other men with him. Basically, all of the people love Absalom (verse 13), which forces David and his family to leave Jerusalem for safety. A bunch of people follow David that he tells to go back to the city, if only to stir up trouble for Absalom and to bring him news of what's going down in Jerusalem. Zadok the priest (does anyone else think of Handel's song when they hear Zadok's name? No? Just me? Ok, then. Moving on...) Zadok also came with David and the group of Levites carrying the ark of the covenant came as well. However, David told them to take the ark back to Jerusalem. In fact, here is what verses 25 and 26 say, "The king said to Zadok, 'Take the ark of God back into the city. If I find favor in the Lord's eyes, he will bring me back and let me see it and His dwelling place again. But if He says, 'I am not please with you,' then I am ready; let Him do to me whatever seems good to Him.'"

Wow. I just don't even know what to say. David was willing to be overthrown by his son, even to die, if it was what seemed good to God. Thinking about this prayer, I am convicted about the many times I seem to think that I know what will bring God the most glory in my life, despite His leading in another direction. "Oh, no, God, I know You said I should do this, but I really think what you meant to say was that I should do something else... but to You be the glory!" To be completely honest with you, I've been struggling a lot recently with not getting my way. I ask God, "Why do You have to make things so difficult? Why can't things just got the way I want them to?" I'm sure that if David had his way, he wouldn't be fleeing from his home or running away from his son who is trying to overthrow him. But David was willing to surrender what he wanted if it meant that God would be more pleased this other way.

I think a lot with missions, we, or at least I, expect things to go a certain way. The way we raise support, the way our team works, the travel plans we make, the people we meet and the relationships we build, even the conversations we have- they all will go a certain way. But what if they don't? What if support isn't raised right away? What if the team disagrees or the travel plans change? What if the conversations we planned to have go in a totally different direction? Even beyond short term missions, what if God calls me somewhere else than missions? What if He doesn't? Is it still ok? Will I still be able to say, "let Him do whatever seems good to Him."?

God,

I am learning, but I still have so much more to learn. May I desire Your will above my own. May the testimony of my life bring glory to You. You are good.



And... just because now it's stuck in my head:

I Can't Do This!

So, I'm going to be honest and let you all know that the reason I haven't posted in... like, a month?... is because I have no idea what to say! That's the bother with blogs! They always assume you have something to say! And while my parents would probably disagree, I don't always have words flowing out of my mouth... or in this case, fingers. :)

I thought I would take the time, though, to share with you all something that God has been teaching me recently. This is something that has been on my heart for awhile, and actually, I've had the opportunity to share it a couple of times with some people, but I thought it would fit well in a missions context as well. Since being back at school this semester, I have really felt inadequate in... well... a lot of what I'm involved with: my major, my ministry, my career aspirations, life... (Maybe that last one is a slight dramatization, but you get the point.) So, basically, I came to a point of realization that I am not equipped to do it ("it" being a non-specific word). I became so overwhelmed by obligations and expectations for everything that I just broke.

I wish that I could say that, in coming to God with my inadequacy, He said to me, "Don't be silly! You can do this!" Actually, He told me something quite different. Galatians 3:10-13 says, "All who rely on observing the law are under a curse, for it is written: 'Cursed is everyone who does not continue to everything written in the Book of the Law.' Clearly no one is justified before God by the law, because, 'The righteous will live by faith.' The law is not based on faith; on the contrary, 'the man who does these things will live by them.' Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written: 'Cursed is everyone who is hung on a tree.'" I know that these verses are talking about living by the law verses living by faith, and I don't mean to take them out of context, but I think this passage can be applied in this context as well. What God said to me was actually, "Elizabeth, you are right; you cannot do this on your own. But even before now, you have not been able to do it on your own." This passage in Galatians says that we have not reached God through our own efforts. In fact, if we do rely on our own efforts, we are "cursed." However, it is Christ who redeemed us from the curse! It was His efforts, not mine, that brought me to salvation, and it is His efforts in me that will lead me to victory in the plans He has laid out for me. Where I am weak, that is where He is able to show His strength, and where I cannot do it, He is able to be glorified. So, be encouraged! We all get to be a part of God's plan and work, and even when we feel inadequate, His still owns the victory!

That being said, I do have a financial update to give. Though the total amount of my trip will be somewhere around $3,600, I have already raised $2,100! Thank you so much to those who have helped in supporting me, be it through prayer or financially, or even both! It is SO encouraging to know that there are people behind my team and me as we prepare to take this trip to share God's Word! That being said, I still have a large chunk of money yet to raise, and I humbly ask that if you desire to support my team and me financially, that you take the opportunity to do so through this link. Thank you again to those who have already given, and please continue to pray for my team and me as we continue to prepare for our trip! I am sure that May will come sooner than expected and soon we will be off!