Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Faithful. We use that word a lot in the church. We use it in songs, in prayers, in sermons and Sunday School lessons. But it's a word that I've gained new perspective in recently, and I'm so excited to share with you what God has pressed on my heart.
Recently, there's been a lot of articles popping up on social media (maybe it's just in my circle of friends) about relationships: modesty, lust, biblical manhood and womanhood, what's appropriate for dating, what's appropriate for marriage, and so on. It's like relationship advice overload. Divorce and separation has also been something that has come up a lot recently in conversation with my friends. I know that sounds kind of strange, but I've had several discussions recently about what would be appropriate grounds breaking up with someone or for divorce. The Pharisees asked Jesus this question in Matthew 19: "Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?" Jesus told them that God created man and woman to come together and become one flesh, not to be separated, but that, because of the sinfulness of man, the Law of Moses was given that "whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery." So, it would seem and has been argued, that sexual immorality is proper grounds for divorce. But what level of sexual immorality? Jesus said during His Sermon on the Mount that whoever looks at a woman in lust has already committed adultery in his heart. In today's age, is pornography a valid reason for divorce? How many times do you try to mend the relationship with your spouse before you say enough is enough? Whether we have been directly affected by divorce or just know someone who has, I think we can all agree that all divorce is difficult and ugly. Jesus was right (duh.) when He said the law of divorce was created because of our sinfulness. We are fallen people. As believers, our relationships are meant to be reflections of God. Made in His image, we are able to do that, but fallen and sinful we do that imperfectly, and even our best relationships endure hardships and struggles.
So all of this talk about human relationships, what's good and what's bad and when is it OK to divorce led me to thinking about how God relates to us. As my friend and I were talking about divorce, Hosea's name was brought up. I love the testimony of Hosea. I would never want to be Hosea (Sorry, Man.) but I think his story is beautiful. I know that God called Hosea to marry Gomer as a message to the nation of Israel, but in His big picture, I think that we can celebrate God's faithful love not just to Israel, but to us as well. In my discussion about at what point do differences become irreconcilable, I wondered what it would be like to place my relationship with God in a completely human context. It would look a lot like the picture in Hosea. I am a wicked person. I struggle with sin daily, and too often sin wins. In my relationship with God, I am an adulterer. I am unfaithful. I play around and give my heart to others. If ours were merely a human relationship, there would be no question nor a lack of support for separation because of my infidelity. That breaks my heart. And yet, God, in His holiness and in His perfect goodness has remained faithful and loving, when all human reason would say to leave, to separate. He has stayed faithful to His promises, and I have been given a love greater than I could ever expect or imagine, greater than I could ever give anyone. The realization of God's complete faithfulness is extremely humbling. It's completely convicting. What possible response could I give to the One who has loved me so perfectly? Of course my response must be one of surrender. I imagine this picture of a woman, who ran away from home looking for something greater, something more exciting, because the words and lies of the world were so enticing, she became blind to the great care she had in her own home. She searches and searches for what she thinks will bring her greater fulfillment, but even the moments of pleasure pass and she is left unsatisfied and alone. She returns home dirty, bruised, and broken. Her strength is gone and she collapses at her husband's feet, weeping because of her shame. Surely he has the right to leave her, and no one would hold it against him if he did. But he picks her up, and holds her tightly in his arms as he quietly and gently washes off all of the mud and clay from her face, bandages her wounds, combs through her hair until all the tangles are gone, and dresses her in warm, clean clothes. He loves her and cares for her, despite her betrayal. That is our relationship with God. Though we have all we ever need, more than we could ever desire, we turn our hearts elsewhere looking for something greater, with this twisted idea of what love should be. Yet, even in our most shameful moments, He remains faithful not only to us, but to His promises and to His character. And the only proper response we can give is one of humility and surrender and imperfect love in return. What a lovely, beautiful God we serve.
Great is Thy Faithfulness, O God my Father.
There is no turning of shadow with Thee.
Thou changest not. Thy compassions, they fail not.
As Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be.
Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hands hath provided.
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me.
Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide.
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine with ten thousand beside!
Recently, there's been a lot of articles popping up on social media (maybe it's just in my circle of friends) about relationships: modesty, lust, biblical manhood and womanhood, what's appropriate for dating, what's appropriate for marriage, and so on. It's like relationship advice overload. Divorce and separation has also been something that has come up a lot recently in conversation with my friends. I know that sounds kind of strange, but I've had several discussions recently about what would be appropriate grounds breaking up with someone or for divorce. The Pharisees asked Jesus this question in Matthew 19: "Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?" Jesus told them that God created man and woman to come together and become one flesh, not to be separated, but that, because of the sinfulness of man, the Law of Moses was given that "whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery." So, it would seem and has been argued, that sexual immorality is proper grounds for divorce. But what level of sexual immorality? Jesus said during His Sermon on the Mount that whoever looks at a woman in lust has already committed adultery in his heart. In today's age, is pornography a valid reason for divorce? How many times do you try to mend the relationship with your spouse before you say enough is enough? Whether we have been directly affected by divorce or just know someone who has, I think we can all agree that all divorce is difficult and ugly. Jesus was right (duh.) when He said the law of divorce was created because of our sinfulness. We are fallen people. As believers, our relationships are meant to be reflections of God. Made in His image, we are able to do that, but fallen and sinful we do that imperfectly, and even our best relationships endure hardships and struggles.
So all of this talk about human relationships, what's good and what's bad and when is it OK to divorce led me to thinking about how God relates to us. As my friend and I were talking about divorce, Hosea's name was brought up. I love the testimony of Hosea. I would never want to be Hosea (Sorry, Man.) but I think his story is beautiful. I know that God called Hosea to marry Gomer as a message to the nation of Israel, but in His big picture, I think that we can celebrate God's faithful love not just to Israel, but to us as well. In my discussion about at what point do differences become irreconcilable, I wondered what it would be like to place my relationship with God in a completely human context. It would look a lot like the picture in Hosea. I am a wicked person. I struggle with sin daily, and too often sin wins. In my relationship with God, I am an adulterer. I am unfaithful. I play around and give my heart to others. If ours were merely a human relationship, there would be no question nor a lack of support for separation because of my infidelity. That breaks my heart. And yet, God, in His holiness and in His perfect goodness has remained faithful and loving, when all human reason would say to leave, to separate. He has stayed faithful to His promises, and I have been given a love greater than I could ever expect or imagine, greater than I could ever give anyone. The realization of God's complete faithfulness is extremely humbling. It's completely convicting. What possible response could I give to the One who has loved me so perfectly? Of course my response must be one of surrender. I imagine this picture of a woman, who ran away from home looking for something greater, something more exciting, because the words and lies of the world were so enticing, she became blind to the great care she had in her own home. She searches and searches for what she thinks will bring her greater fulfillment, but even the moments of pleasure pass and she is left unsatisfied and alone. She returns home dirty, bruised, and broken. Her strength is gone and she collapses at her husband's feet, weeping because of her shame. Surely he has the right to leave her, and no one would hold it against him if he did. But he picks her up, and holds her tightly in his arms as he quietly and gently washes off all of the mud and clay from her face, bandages her wounds, combs through her hair until all the tangles are gone, and dresses her in warm, clean clothes. He loves her and cares for her, despite her betrayal. That is our relationship with God. Though we have all we ever need, more than we could ever desire, we turn our hearts elsewhere looking for something greater, with this twisted idea of what love should be. Yet, even in our most shameful moments, He remains faithful not only to us, but to His promises and to His character. And the only proper response we can give is one of humility and surrender and imperfect love in return. What a lovely, beautiful God we serve.
Great is Thy Faithfulness, O God my Father.
There is no turning of shadow with Thee.
Thou changest not. Thy compassions, they fail not.
As Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be.
Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hands hath provided.
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me.
Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide.
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine with ten thousand beside!
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Can you believe that we're almost halfway through July already? It seems like summer just started, and yet the fall semester is right around the corner. This summer has been great! My roommate and I moved into our first apartment. I've gotten a chance to catch up with some old high school friends, I've been able to do some fun reading, I visited family, I'm taking a couple of classes, and I'm working. It's just been the perfect balance of relaxing and being productive. Working at the campus library during the summer can be pretty dull as you can imagine. I'm not complaining about the stillness of it all. But usually if I come home with a story about how I got a papercut, it's been an exciting day. There is one thing, though, that changes the mood of all of the library staff, even on the most mellow of days: free food. It sounds ridiculous, and it probably is, but there's just something about those two words and what they mean put together that makes people crazy. (I mean crazy in the mildest sense of the word, of course. It is a library after all.) Let me just explain to you what I mean:
Every once in awhile, there is a lady that brings in a couple of boxes of Krispy Kreme donuts for the staff. As soon as they pass through the front door, the eyes of all the workers up front follow those boxes until they reach the back where the break room is. Immediately phone calls are made, emails are sent out, workers comb through the stacks to find all of the staff and let them know that there are donuts in the back break room. It's kind of like watching a virus spread, only a virus of good, tasty news. One person catches the donut-bug who gives it to another, who infects two more people, who give it to other people, until absolutely no one is left who hasn't heard that there are donuts in the break room. Then they start coming. All of the people with offices upstairs, one-by-one make their way down into the break room. The librarians who work in the back come out front to fill their coffee cups to sip along with their donuts. Us student workers take turns going into the back while the others watch the desks. It's incredible the amount of movement that happens all because someone was gracious enough to bring us a treat.
The first time I experienced this phenomenon in the library, I just had to laugh. I couldn't believe all of the commotion going on over donuts! It was amazing. But it also gave me a great picture of something much deeper and more important. As I watched the way the news traveled from person to person and the excitement that came from it all, I couldn't help but think about the shepherds who were told by the multitude of angels to go worship the Messiah who had be born in Bethlehem and was lying in a manger. After the shepherd had seen the baby Jesus, the Bible says, "they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them." (Luke 2:17-18) The shepherds had met the Messiah that had been promised and waited for since the fall of man. Of course they were excited to share the good news they had seen and heard! I also think about the Samaritan woman that Jesus met at the well, and how, after Jesus told her all she had ever done, she ran into the town to tell everyone what about this man she had met. "Could this be the Messiah?" (John 4:29) Perhaps it's silly to compare donuts to the gospel, but what I witnessed in the library provided me with a small glimpse of what it must have been like that night in Bethlehem or that day at the well. And then of course came conviction.
I, too, like the shepherds, like the Samaritan woman, have met the Messiah. He has exposed everything I have ever done. He has come to me in my humble position. I have worshipped Him. I have drunk of His living water. Yet I can't remember the last time I was as excited about meeting Jesus as my fellow workers were about eating donuts. I was having a conversation with my brother the other day about how Christianity is so offensive to some people. While I don't think that we as believers should strive to offend people, I do think that, if we are excited about and sharing our faith as we should be, some people are going to be offended. Jesus warned His disciples about this when He said, "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you... They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the one who sent me." (John 15:18-19, 21) Throughout history, since the disciples began preaching the gospel of Christ, they were hated and persecuted. And still their passion could not be squelched. I am so blessed to be able to live a comfortable life, to study at a seminary, to talk about the Bible openly with my friends. But as great of a privilege as it has been, I also think that I have been given a great disadvantage in that I don't know what it is to suffer for what I believe, and in fact, the fear of suffering has kept me from experiencing the great joy of sharing my faith out of the excitement of what Christ has done in my life. Instead, my excitement has been turned to things like donuts. So, next time donuts are brought into work, should I encourage my co-workers to curb their enthusiasm? No, I don't think it's wrong to get excited about free food. But I do think it's important to keep in perspective the good news that I have about the Christ who sacrificed Himself out of love so that I may have a restored relationship with my Creator. That, my friends, is much more exciting than the fact that there are donuts in the break room.
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Who am I?
I am Israel.
Forgetting
the promises of the faithful One and choosing to follow the created rather than
Creator.
I am Gomer.
Faithfully
loved by One but constantly seeking the love of others who will never satisfy
my longing.
I am Judas.
Masquerading
as a follower of the One who can save yet willing to betray the Truth for my
own profit.
I am Cain.
Brought
to hate those closest to me because of selfishness and pride.
I am Lot.
Tempted
to follow what looks too good to be true and finding that it is.
I am Saul.
Given the kingdom but driven mad with the fear of losing it.
I am Solomon.
Given
unimaginable riches and still unsatisfied.
I am Samson.
Dancing
with the enemy not considering the grave consequences that follow.
I am the Pharisees.
Ignoring
Truth for tradition and condemning others for not doing the same.
But.
I am new.
I
live not by my flesh but by His Spirit.
I am alive.
I
have been lifted out of my self-made grave and set on solid ground.
I am forgiven.
All
of my pride has been forgotten and in its place remains humility and praise.
I am called.
No
longer do I wander, because I have One to live for.
I am loved.
I
have been lavished with grace and affection that I do not deserve.
I am righteous.
From
no efforts of my own am I good, but from the efforts of One greater.
I am free.
I am
not burdened by the shame and guilt of my past.
I am secure.
I
know my place is in His hands, in His arms, and in the apple of His eye.
Who am I?
I am
His.
And
He is mine.
Sunday, April 21, 2013
"Hate the sin; love the sinner." What does this phrase really mean? We throw it around in Christian circles a lot, but is it something we really believe and live? It wasn't until recently that I've had to struggle with the balance of hate for someone's actions and love for them as a person, and until that moment, I had no idea how far stretching this concept really goes. In light of recent national events, I think that it is an important reminder that needs to be shared, first of what great love we have been shown and then of what love we should show those around us.
There are certain sins that are easier to look past than others. We can hate homosexuality, pride, abuse of alcohol... and still love the people we call homosexual, prideful, and alcoholics. But what about those people who rape women, shoot elementary school children, or bomb athletic events? Is it possible to love those people while hating their sin? That is an extremely difficult question, but I think that to answer it, another question must be examined:
What love have I been shown? I have to recognize that I have offended God. Throughout history we are given example after example of how we fall short of the glory of God. Adam and Eve disobeyed God's command not to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Cain murdered his brother Able. Israel continually doubted God's power and provision and turned to other gods. Even the heroes of Scripture failed to satisfy God's standard: Abraham had a child by his wife's servant because they didn't understand how God would provide them a promised heir, Moses was not able to enter the Promised Land because of his disobedience, and David had a man killed to cover up his adultery. In Hosea we are given a comparison between Israel's unfaithfulness to God and the infidelity of an adulterous wife. I must recognize that I am no better than these. I am Israel. I am Gomer. I have offended a most holy God. What can I do to fulfill what He requires? Nothing. Yet He has loved me.
I've written before about the love that Christ showed me while I was still His enemy (here), but in case you don't want to go back and read it, let me just recap. John 15 says, "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends." We recognize that this is what Christ did for us. He laid down his life for us, showing us the greatest, most perfect love that one could ever have for another. Yet in Romans 5, Paul writes, "For one would hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." When we were still God's enemies Christ showed us the greatest love by laying down His life on our behalf, by taking our place, becoming our substitute. God has hated my sin, but has loved me with such a love as to send His Son to pay the debt that I owe for my offense. So what does that mean for me now?
It is because of God's love for me that I can love others. I hate the evil I see in the world. I hate the things I see on the news. It breaks my heart to think of the lives lost in the Newtown shooting or at the Boston Marathon or the stabbings at Lone Star College. So how do I hate the sin that these men committed and still love them as Christ has loved me? I think that it starts with recognizing that God has shown me great love and that He loves these men as well. I have to admit that I am easily inclined to hate people who commit horrendous, unthinkable crimes. But then I remember that these people have friends and family and neighbors and co-workers who love and care for them and I think about the emotions that they are going through knowing that their loved one has done something so unthinkable. I also must remember that these men need the Lord. God loves them. He loves them with perfect love just as He loves us. But they have not yet recognized His love for them. Lastly, I must pray for them. I pray that as they are prosecuted, the truth is presented and justice is given. However, I also pray for their souls, that they would recognize God's good favor and offer of salvation even towards the worst offenders. And I pray for their loved ones who are left emotionally torn between defending justice and desiring grace.
So do I defend the actions of these bad people? Absolutely not. I abhor them. However, I recognize that I, too have offended the highest standard of righteousness and yet have found favor and grace. It is because I have experienced love that I can love others, including these men, even though I cannot understand nor accept their actions.
In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. -1 John 4:10-11
There are certain sins that are easier to look past than others. We can hate homosexuality, pride, abuse of alcohol... and still love the people we call homosexual, prideful, and alcoholics. But what about those people who rape women, shoot elementary school children, or bomb athletic events? Is it possible to love those people while hating their sin? That is an extremely difficult question, but I think that to answer it, another question must be examined:
What love have I been shown? I have to recognize that I have offended God. Throughout history we are given example after example of how we fall short of the glory of God. Adam and Eve disobeyed God's command not to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Cain murdered his brother Able. Israel continually doubted God's power and provision and turned to other gods. Even the heroes of Scripture failed to satisfy God's standard: Abraham had a child by his wife's servant because they didn't understand how God would provide them a promised heir, Moses was not able to enter the Promised Land because of his disobedience, and David had a man killed to cover up his adultery. In Hosea we are given a comparison between Israel's unfaithfulness to God and the infidelity of an adulterous wife. I must recognize that I am no better than these. I am Israel. I am Gomer. I have offended a most holy God. What can I do to fulfill what He requires? Nothing. Yet He has loved me.
I've written before about the love that Christ showed me while I was still His enemy (here), but in case you don't want to go back and read it, let me just recap. John 15 says, "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends." We recognize that this is what Christ did for us. He laid down his life for us, showing us the greatest, most perfect love that one could ever have for another. Yet in Romans 5, Paul writes, "For one would hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." When we were still God's enemies Christ showed us the greatest love by laying down His life on our behalf, by taking our place, becoming our substitute. God has hated my sin, but has loved me with such a love as to send His Son to pay the debt that I owe for my offense. So what does that mean for me now?
It is because of God's love for me that I can love others. I hate the evil I see in the world. I hate the things I see on the news. It breaks my heart to think of the lives lost in the Newtown shooting or at the Boston Marathon or the stabbings at Lone Star College. So how do I hate the sin that these men committed and still love them as Christ has loved me? I think that it starts with recognizing that God has shown me great love and that He loves these men as well. I have to admit that I am easily inclined to hate people who commit horrendous, unthinkable crimes. But then I remember that these people have friends and family and neighbors and co-workers who love and care for them and I think about the emotions that they are going through knowing that their loved one has done something so unthinkable. I also must remember that these men need the Lord. God loves them. He loves them with perfect love just as He loves us. But they have not yet recognized His love for them. Lastly, I must pray for them. I pray that as they are prosecuted, the truth is presented and justice is given. However, I also pray for their souls, that they would recognize God's good favor and offer of salvation even towards the worst offenders. And I pray for their loved ones who are left emotionally torn between defending justice and desiring grace.
So do I defend the actions of these bad people? Absolutely not. I abhor them. However, I recognize that I, too have offended the highest standard of righteousness and yet have found favor and grace. It is because I have experienced love that I can love others, including these men, even though I cannot understand nor accept their actions.
In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. -1 John 4:10-11
Thursday, February 28, 2013
I guess a life update is a little overdue. And by a little, I mean a lot. I've relocated! December 15 of last year, I packed up the rest of my belongings into my car, turned in my keys, and said goodbye to what had been my life for the past four and a half years, no longer a Liberty student. I have to say, I knew it was going to be hard to leave, but I didn't know it would be as hard as it was. I realized how much of my experience I had taken for granted- the friends I had made, the opportunities I had, the lessons I learned- and now I had to start all over.
As someone who has started over a lot, you would think I would be used to it by now. This was not my first move, nor was it my biggest. I would never consider us career movers, but change was not unusual for my family growing up, and it was really hard. But we always moved forward and adapted. I am so grateful for parents who have a foundation not in a job or a city but in the Lord. They are great examples of what it means to follow God, and I respect them so much for the difficult decisions they've made for our family. And this year it was my turn to make a difficult decision on my own. I doubt that this will be my last big decision or the most difficult, but big and difficult it has been, and I appreciate even more the example of my parents, and I hope that as I grow and learn to trust God in the decisions I make, I can be the same example to my family in the future.
So, I have been a proud Master's student at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary for six weeks now, and I have realized more than ever how much I don't know. I am also working two part time jobs, both of which I really enjoy. I started working at a local artisan market at the beginning of the year as a sales associate, and about a month later, I got a job at the library at Southeastern, which is kind of similar to my job before, but also kind of different. So, between school, work, and schoolwork, I am kept fairly busy.
The most difficult part of my transition has been making new connections. At Liberty, I was given the opportunity to build relationships with people through the dorm environment and through the ministry I was a part of. Now, with that gone, I have to learn to make friends on my own again, which is really, really hard, and I've found myself growing more and more discontent with my present situation. I am not an outgoing person. I find new social environments very intimidating, and yet I find myself in those situations every day. Because of that, I've found it extremely difficult to rejoice in the character God has given me. Instead, I have found a growing resentment for my tendency toward introversion. I can't help but think that, if only I were more outgoing, I wouldn't feel as lonely as I do. Perhaps that's true. Perhaps I would have an easier time making friends, but I cannot allow myself to believe a quieter personality is a worse personality. As much of a blessing it is to have two jobs, I've also had to guard myself against feeling resentful that I don't have more time to build new friendships. This growing bitterness towards my current situation has grown and consumed my heart as of late. But I realized that being bitter wasn't making my situation any better. In fact, I was even more miserable in my bitterness than I had been before. I've realized the need for contentment and to recognize what a blessing it is to be where I am, doing what I'm doing. I have much to be thankful for:
I get to spend more time with my family, which is one of my most favorite things to do ever.
I am not experiencing this transition alone. I have an awesome friend and roommate who has transferred from Liberty as well.
I get to live rent free for some time. My parents have been so gracious to let us stay with them this semester. I get to eat my mom's home cooking and not pay bills. It doesn't get much better than that!
I get to go to an amazing school. I have learned so much in just six weeks, and my brain cannot fathom how much more there is to learn in the next couple of years.
I have two jobs! Not just one, but two! And they're both wonderful.
I am making connections. I may not have great friendships yet, but those don't grow overnight. I am getting to know people.
I was reminded recently of Paul's writings to the Philippian church. My roommate and I were discussing Philippians, which is one of her favorite books. Joy in Christ is a common theme in Paul's letter, who wrote to the church in Philippi while in prison. I think that we are all familiar with chapter 4, where Paul says,
Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your request be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy-meditate on these things. The things which you have heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.
If I've never said it before, I'll tell you now that teaching from Scripture is extremely intimidating. I may look back on this as a wiser future self and realize that I missed the point of what Paul is saying, but reading through this passage and taking into consideration the entirety of the letter, there are several things that I have chosen to apply to my life in guarding against bitterness and living in contentment and joy:
I have chosen to rejoice! Even when present circumstances are difficult, I can rejoice in the Lord and His grace and goodness towards me.
I have chosen to live sacrificially and with consideration of others, removing myself from selfishness and caring and helping those around me.
I have chosen to be thankful! I have been given much, much more than I deserve. In fact, in order to stir up an attitude of thankfulness, I have made it my goal this year to write down one good thing from each day that I am thankful for. I can't wait to see all of the things I have chosen to be thankful for at the end of the year!
I have chosen to be honest with the Lord and trust in His provision.
I have chosen to meditate on Truth. I've realized that filling my mind with resentment only leads to more resentment. Instead, I have chosen to replace those thoughts and feelings with what is true, noble, just, pure, lovely, commendable, virtuous, and praiseworthy, namely, the Lord and His Truth.
Paul says that God grants peace to those who trust Him in these things. In fact, he mentions the peace of God twice just in these six verses. I have chosen to reject the discontentment I have been inclined to feel as of late because I know a good God who has dealt graciously with me and has blessed me in my current circumstances. I choose to fight this battle against bitterness and insecurity through remember Paul's inspired teaching and relying on the peace that only God brings to heart and mind.
God,
I have much to be thankful for. Thank You for Your endless blessings. When I consider the grace that has been shown to me, I am overwhelmed with awe and humility. Forgive me for the anger and selfishness that I have held in my heart. I present it to You with open hands and humbly ask that You replace it with thankfulness that extends to all areas of my living. Knowing You is enough to satisfy. But, Lord, never allow me to become satisfied with what I know of You. Thank You for the way You continue to challenge, grow, and refine. Amen.
As someone who has started over a lot, you would think I would be used to it by now. This was not my first move, nor was it my biggest. I would never consider us career movers, but change was not unusual for my family growing up, and it was really hard. But we always moved forward and adapted. I am so grateful for parents who have a foundation not in a job or a city but in the Lord. They are great examples of what it means to follow God, and I respect them so much for the difficult decisions they've made for our family. And this year it was my turn to make a difficult decision on my own. I doubt that this will be my last big decision or the most difficult, but big and difficult it has been, and I appreciate even more the example of my parents, and I hope that as I grow and learn to trust God in the decisions I make, I can be the same example to my family in the future.
So, I have been a proud Master's student at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary for six weeks now, and I have realized more than ever how much I don't know. I am also working two part time jobs, both of which I really enjoy. I started working at a local artisan market at the beginning of the year as a sales associate, and about a month later, I got a job at the library at Southeastern, which is kind of similar to my job before, but also kind of different. So, between school, work, and schoolwork, I am kept fairly busy.
The most difficult part of my transition has been making new connections. At Liberty, I was given the opportunity to build relationships with people through the dorm environment and through the ministry I was a part of. Now, with that gone, I have to learn to make friends on my own again, which is really, really hard, and I've found myself growing more and more discontent with my present situation. I am not an outgoing person. I find new social environments very intimidating, and yet I find myself in those situations every day. Because of that, I've found it extremely difficult to rejoice in the character God has given me. Instead, I have found a growing resentment for my tendency toward introversion. I can't help but think that, if only I were more outgoing, I wouldn't feel as lonely as I do. Perhaps that's true. Perhaps I would have an easier time making friends, but I cannot allow myself to believe a quieter personality is a worse personality. As much of a blessing it is to have two jobs, I've also had to guard myself against feeling resentful that I don't have more time to build new friendships. This growing bitterness towards my current situation has grown and consumed my heart as of late. But I realized that being bitter wasn't making my situation any better. In fact, I was even more miserable in my bitterness than I had been before. I've realized the need for contentment and to recognize what a blessing it is to be where I am, doing what I'm doing. I have much to be thankful for:
I get to spend more time with my family, which is one of my most favorite things to do ever.
I am not experiencing this transition alone. I have an awesome friend and roommate who has transferred from Liberty as well.
I get to live rent free for some time. My parents have been so gracious to let us stay with them this semester. I get to eat my mom's home cooking and not pay bills. It doesn't get much better than that!
I get to go to an amazing school. I have learned so much in just six weeks, and my brain cannot fathom how much more there is to learn in the next couple of years.
I have two jobs! Not just one, but two! And they're both wonderful.
I am making connections. I may not have great friendships yet, but those don't grow overnight. I am getting to know people.
I was reminded recently of Paul's writings to the Philippian church. My roommate and I were discussing Philippians, which is one of her favorite books. Joy in Christ is a common theme in Paul's letter, who wrote to the church in Philippi while in prison. I think that we are all familiar with chapter 4, where Paul says,
Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your request be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy-meditate on these things. The things which you have heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.
If I've never said it before, I'll tell you now that teaching from Scripture is extremely intimidating. I may look back on this as a wiser future self and realize that I missed the point of what Paul is saying, but reading through this passage and taking into consideration the entirety of the letter, there are several things that I have chosen to apply to my life in guarding against bitterness and living in contentment and joy:
I have chosen to rejoice! Even when present circumstances are difficult, I can rejoice in the Lord and His grace and goodness towards me.
I have chosen to live sacrificially and with consideration of others, removing myself from selfishness and caring and helping those around me.
I have chosen to be thankful! I have been given much, much more than I deserve. In fact, in order to stir up an attitude of thankfulness, I have made it my goal this year to write down one good thing from each day that I am thankful for. I can't wait to see all of the things I have chosen to be thankful for at the end of the year!
I have chosen to be honest with the Lord and trust in His provision.
I have chosen to meditate on Truth. I've realized that filling my mind with resentment only leads to more resentment. Instead, I have chosen to replace those thoughts and feelings with what is true, noble, just, pure, lovely, commendable, virtuous, and praiseworthy, namely, the Lord and His Truth.
Paul says that God grants peace to those who trust Him in these things. In fact, he mentions the peace of God twice just in these six verses. I have chosen to reject the discontentment I have been inclined to feel as of late because I know a good God who has dealt graciously with me and has blessed me in my current circumstances. I choose to fight this battle against bitterness and insecurity through remember Paul's inspired teaching and relying on the peace that only God brings to heart and mind.
God,
I have much to be thankful for. Thank You for Your endless blessings. When I consider the grace that has been shown to me, I am overwhelmed with awe and humility. Forgive me for the anger and selfishness that I have held in my heart. I present it to You with open hands and humbly ask that You replace it with thankfulness that extends to all areas of my living. Knowing You is enough to satisfy. But, Lord, never allow me to become satisfied with what I know of You. Thank You for the way You continue to challenge, grow, and refine. Amen.
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