Saturday, September 26, 2009
Exodus 3-4:20
Now Moses was tending the flock of Jethro his father-in-law, the priest of Midian, and he led the flock to the far side of the desert and came to Horeb, the mountain of God. There the angel of the LORD appeared to him in flames of fire from within a bush. Moses saw that though the bush was on fire it did not burn up. So Moses thought, "I will go over and see this strange sight--why the bush does not burn up." When the LORD saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush, "Moses! Moses!" And Moses said, "Here I am." "Do not come any closer," God said. "Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground." Then he said, "I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob." At this, Moses hid his face, because he was afraid to look at God. The LORD said, "I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering. So I have come down to rescue them from the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land into a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey--the home of the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites. And now the cry of the Israelites has reached me, and I have seen the way the Egyptians are oppressing them. So now, go. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt." But Moses said to God, "Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?" And God said, "I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God on this mountain." Moses said to God, "Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, 'The God of your fathers has sent me to you,' and they ask me, 'What is his name?' Then what shall I tell them?" God said to Moses, "I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: 'I AM has sent me to you.' " God also said to Moses, "Say to the Israelites, 'The Lord, the God of your fathers--the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob--has sent me to you.' This is my name forever, the name by which I am to be remembered from generation to generation. "Go, assemble the elders of Israel and say to them, 'The Lord, the God of your fathers--the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob--appeared to me and said: I have watched over you and have seen what has been done to you in Egypt. And I have promised to bring you up out of your misery in Egypt into the land of the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites--a land flowing with milk and honey.' "The elders of Israel will listen to you. Then you and the elders are to go to the king of Egypt and say to him, 'The Lord, the God of the Hebrews, has met with us. Let us take a three-day journey into the desert to offer sacrifices to the LORD our God.' But I know that the king of Egypt will not let you go unless a mighty hand compels him. So I will stretch out my hand and strike the Egyptians with all the wonders that I will perform among them. After that, he will let you go. "And I will make the Egyptians favorably disposed toward this people, so that when you leave you will not go empty-handed. Every woman is to ask her neighbor and any woman living in her house for articles of silver and gold and for clothing, which you will put on your sons and daughters. And so you will plunder the Egyptians." Moses answered, "What if they do not believe me or listen to me and say, 'The LORD did not appear to you'?" Then the LORD said to him, "What is that in your hand?" "A staff," he replied. The LORD said, "Throw it on the ground." Moses threw it on the ground and it became a snake, and he ran from it. Then the LORD said to him, "Reach out your hand and take it by the tail." So Moses reached out and took hold of the snake and it turned back into a staff in his hand. "This," said the Lord, "is so that they may believe that the Lord, the God of their fathers--the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob--has appeared to you." Then the LORD said, "Put your hand inside your cloak." So Moses put his hand into his cloak, and when he took it out, it was leprous, like snow. "Now put it back into your cloak," he said. So Moses put his hand back into his cloak, and when he took it out, it was restored, like the rest of his flesh. Then the LORD said, "If they do not believe you or pay attention to the first miraculous sign, they may believe the second. But if they do not believe these two signs or listen to you, take some water from the Nile and pour it on the dry ground. The water you take from the river will become blood on the ground." Moses said to the Lord, "O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue." The LORD said to him, "Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say." But Moses said, "O Lord, please send someone else to do it." Then the LORD's anger burned against Moses and he said, "What about your brother, Aaron the Levite? I know he can speak well. He is already on his way to meet you, and his heart will be glad when he sees you. You shall speak to him and put words in his mouth; I will help both of you speak and will teach you what to do. He will speak to the people for you, and it will be as if he were your mouth and as if you were God to him. But take this staff in your hand so you can perform miraculous signs with it." Then Moses went back to Jethro his father-in-law and said to him, "Let me go back to my own people in Egypt to see if any of them are still alive." Jethro said, "Go, and I wish you well." Now the LORD had said to Moses in Midian, "Go back to Egypt, for all the men who wanted to kill you are dead." So Moses took his wife and sons, put them on a donkey and started back to Egypt. And he took the staff of God in his hand.
My little brother always wanted to be a missionary. Ever since he knew what one was, he dreamed of going to Africa someday and sharing with them God's word. I, on the other hand, dreamed of becoming a taxi driver and a house painter. (Barney makes eveything look more fun.) As I grew up, though, I aquired new dreams; I wanted to be a painter, a writer, a star. I loved Jesus, but I thought that I deserved to use my creative talents (which, at the time, I thought were much greater than they are in reality) to build up my own success.
I was in nineth grade when a tsunami ripped through Indonesia. I remember listening to other kids in my Spanish I class asking, "Why would God let something like this happen?" Our school hosted a fundraiser with an aid organization to raise money for diaster relief on that side of the world. As the yellow envelope passed around the class to collect money in finally landed on my desk, I reached into my wallet and pulled out the only two dollars I had with me. I looked up to the TV screen to see images of families without fathers, what used to be houses destroyed by the wind, and flood waters up to the trees, and thought to myself, "I wish I could do more." It was then that God broke my heart for missions.
From that point on, I contemplated being a foreign missionary, and I am sure I knew that that was what God was calling me to be, but I couldn't bring myself to accept His call. Fear blocked every thought of surrenderance to missions from my mind. I chose to ignore God's calling until I could no longer.
That summer I went to church camp with my youth group. We had a great time. Yet, I could not tell you anything specific that we did or talked about that week. All I remember was the time of invitation. Every night the pastor gave an invitation to respond to God's calling. he started with the calling into a personal relationship. Then he gave a call to respond to sin that was keeping us from God. Lastly, he gave a call to surrender to "vocational ministry." Every night I felt God tugging and pulling at me to respond to His call, but I ignored it. If I responded, then people would know and I would have to follow through. So I stayed in my seat. Each night, the same call was given and God's pull was even stronger, but I chose to ignore it still. The last night of camp, as we came to a time of invitation, I knew what was coming. I prepared myself to resist God (as if I actually could), but His call was so strong, I realized that I could not anymore. My face was burning red. My heart was beating out of my chest, and I had to do something, so I did the only thing I could: I got up. That night, as scared as I was about what was to come, and as many questions as I had, I surrendered to God my life to use as a messanger of His gospel to the nations.
For the next few years, I contemplated how and where God wanted me to serve. God has given me a heart and a passion for the nations of South East Asia, but I wanted Him to tell me more specifically what He wanted me to do. Junior year rolled around, and as other people started planning and preparing where they wanted to go and what they wanted to study in college, I was still lost searching. One Sunday morning, a missionary to India came and spoke at our church. Again, I could not tell you what was spoken on at all, but I do remember one brief moment when this missionary mentioned an English school for orphans that his ministry has organized. I cannot explain what happened inside of me when I heard this. I do not know what made this idea stick out to me among all of the other things this missionary was sharing, but I so know that as soon as he mentioned teaching English as a foreign language, I knew that was what I wanted to study. I had never before heard of teaching English as a second language. I had no idea what ESL meant. I did not know you could study teaching ESL. I just knew that I was supposed to be doing it.
We got home from church that afternoon, and I told my parents my idea. I think they were happy for me, but I do not remember any significant reaction, positive or negative, coming from them. The next Sunday, when we walked into the sanctuary, there were little slips of paper on each chair listing the foreign mission trips our church would be involved in over the coming year. As I glanced at the little piece of paper, I noticed a trip to South East Asia. I scrolled my eyes over to the description of the trip, only to find that a team was going to teach conversational English! It was the perfect opportunity that God had placed in my lap, and although I was scared, I followed Him anyway.
My trip was probably one of the greatest experiences of my life. However, it also brougt to my mind a lot of worries about the future. These worries were only elevated on my admission to college. I began realizing the greatness of the call God put on my life. I became scared. What would I do in a high risk nation without my family? How would I survive? I realized my lack of qualification. I could never go up to a stranger and begin a conversation, especially with the purpose of sharing something that is highly dangerous in their country to talk about. I can't even manage learning Spanish; how am I supposed to speak another language in order to teach a class a language that is foregin to them? All of these fears built up inside of me. In addition to that, I felt completely inadequate spiritually as well. Who am I to serve God overseas if I cannot regularly set aside time to meet with Him every morning? Who am I to share Jesus with people in another counrty if I struggle to share Jesus with the people I know here? My prayer quickly turned from praise to God about the great work He had done in revealing His plan to a plea for Him to remove it from me. I found myself in Moses's place, asking God to "send someone else to do it."
I have come to realize, though, that God is a big God. The words that He spoke to Moses resonate in my mind: "Who gave man his mouth? Who made him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say." God does not need my ablities to work in the world. He chooses to use my surrendered self, but it is He who does the work. I have also come to realize that my life is not mine. I have surrendered it to God. Thus, He is able to place me wherever He desires.
It is a daily struggle for me to continue following the path that God has laid before me, especially given my many fears and uncertainties. I am learning the meaning of picking up my cross daily and following Him. I am learning not to get ahead of myself, but to follow God one step at a time, taking one day at a time. I am trusting Him that years from now, I will be able to look back at all that I have gone through and praise God for doing a marvelous work in my life that I could not imagine.
Now Moses was tending the flock of Jethro his father-in-law, the priest of Midian, and he led the flock to the far side of the desert and came to Horeb, the mountain of God. There the angel of the LORD appeared to him in flames of fire from within a bush. Moses saw that though the bush was on fire it did not burn up. So Moses thought, "I will go over and see this strange sight--why the bush does not burn up." When the LORD saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush, "Moses! Moses!" And Moses said, "Here I am." "Do not come any closer," God said. "Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground." Then he said, "I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob." At this, Moses hid his face, because he was afraid to look at God. The LORD said, "I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering. So I have come down to rescue them from the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land into a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey--the home of the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites. And now the cry of the Israelites has reached me, and I have seen the way the Egyptians are oppressing them. So now, go. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt." But Moses said to God, "Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?" And God said, "I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God on this mountain." Moses said to God, "Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, 'The God of your fathers has sent me to you,' and they ask me, 'What is his name?' Then what shall I tell them?" God said to Moses, "I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: 'I AM has sent me to you.' " God also said to Moses, "Say to the Israelites, 'The Lord, the God of your fathers--the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob--has sent me to you.' This is my name forever, the name by which I am to be remembered from generation to generation. "Go, assemble the elders of Israel and say to them, 'The Lord, the God of your fathers--the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob--appeared to me and said: I have watched over you and have seen what has been done to you in Egypt. And I have promised to bring you up out of your misery in Egypt into the land of the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites--a land flowing with milk and honey.' "The elders of Israel will listen to you. Then you and the elders are to go to the king of Egypt and say to him, 'The Lord, the God of the Hebrews, has met with us. Let us take a three-day journey into the desert to offer sacrifices to the LORD our God.' But I know that the king of Egypt will not let you go unless a mighty hand compels him. So I will stretch out my hand and strike the Egyptians with all the wonders that I will perform among them. After that, he will let you go. "And I will make the Egyptians favorably disposed toward this people, so that when you leave you will not go empty-handed. Every woman is to ask her neighbor and any woman living in her house for articles of silver and gold and for clothing, which you will put on your sons and daughters. And so you will plunder the Egyptians." Moses answered, "What if they do not believe me or listen to me and say, 'The LORD did not appear to you'?" Then the LORD said to him, "What is that in your hand?" "A staff," he replied. The LORD said, "Throw it on the ground." Moses threw it on the ground and it became a snake, and he ran from it. Then the LORD said to him, "Reach out your hand and take it by the tail." So Moses reached out and took hold of the snake and it turned back into a staff in his hand. "This," said the Lord, "is so that they may believe that the Lord, the God of their fathers--the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob--has appeared to you." Then the LORD said, "Put your hand inside your cloak." So Moses put his hand into his cloak, and when he took it out, it was leprous, like snow. "Now put it back into your cloak," he said. So Moses put his hand back into his cloak, and when he took it out, it was restored, like the rest of his flesh. Then the LORD said, "If they do not believe you or pay attention to the first miraculous sign, they may believe the second. But if they do not believe these two signs or listen to you, take some water from the Nile and pour it on the dry ground. The water you take from the river will become blood on the ground." Moses said to the Lord, "O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue." The LORD said to him, "Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say." But Moses said, "O Lord, please send someone else to do it." Then the LORD's anger burned against Moses and he said, "What about your brother, Aaron the Levite? I know he can speak well. He is already on his way to meet you, and his heart will be glad when he sees you. You shall speak to him and put words in his mouth; I will help both of you speak and will teach you what to do. He will speak to the people for you, and it will be as if he were your mouth and as if you were God to him. But take this staff in your hand so you can perform miraculous signs with it." Then Moses went back to Jethro his father-in-law and said to him, "Let me go back to my own people in Egypt to see if any of them are still alive." Jethro said, "Go, and I wish you well." Now the LORD had said to Moses in Midian, "Go back to Egypt, for all the men who wanted to kill you are dead." So Moses took his wife and sons, put them on a donkey and started back to Egypt. And he took the staff of God in his hand.
My little brother always wanted to be a missionary. Ever since he knew what one was, he dreamed of going to Africa someday and sharing with them God's word. I, on the other hand, dreamed of becoming a taxi driver and a house painter. (Barney makes eveything look more fun.) As I grew up, though, I aquired new dreams; I wanted to be a painter, a writer, a star. I loved Jesus, but I thought that I deserved to use my creative talents (which, at the time, I thought were much greater than they are in reality) to build up my own success.
I was in nineth grade when a tsunami ripped through Indonesia. I remember listening to other kids in my Spanish I class asking, "Why would God let something like this happen?" Our school hosted a fundraiser with an aid organization to raise money for diaster relief on that side of the world. As the yellow envelope passed around the class to collect money in finally landed on my desk, I reached into my wallet and pulled out the only two dollars I had with me. I looked up to the TV screen to see images of families without fathers, what used to be houses destroyed by the wind, and flood waters up to the trees, and thought to myself, "I wish I could do more." It was then that God broke my heart for missions.
From that point on, I contemplated being a foreign missionary, and I am sure I knew that that was what God was calling me to be, but I couldn't bring myself to accept His call. Fear blocked every thought of surrenderance to missions from my mind. I chose to ignore God's calling until I could no longer.
That summer I went to church camp with my youth group. We had a great time. Yet, I could not tell you anything specific that we did or talked about that week. All I remember was the time of invitation. Every night the pastor gave an invitation to respond to God's calling. he started with the calling into a personal relationship. Then he gave a call to respond to sin that was keeping us from God. Lastly, he gave a call to surrender to "vocational ministry." Every night I felt God tugging and pulling at me to respond to His call, but I ignored it. If I responded, then people would know and I would have to follow through. So I stayed in my seat. Each night, the same call was given and God's pull was even stronger, but I chose to ignore it still. The last night of camp, as we came to a time of invitation, I knew what was coming. I prepared myself to resist God (as if I actually could), but His call was so strong, I realized that I could not anymore. My face was burning red. My heart was beating out of my chest, and I had to do something, so I did the only thing I could: I got up. That night, as scared as I was about what was to come, and as many questions as I had, I surrendered to God my life to use as a messanger of His gospel to the nations.
For the next few years, I contemplated how and where God wanted me to serve. God has given me a heart and a passion for the nations of South East Asia, but I wanted Him to tell me more specifically what He wanted me to do. Junior year rolled around, and as other people started planning and preparing where they wanted to go and what they wanted to study in college, I was still lost searching. One Sunday morning, a missionary to India came and spoke at our church. Again, I could not tell you what was spoken on at all, but I do remember one brief moment when this missionary mentioned an English school for orphans that his ministry has organized. I cannot explain what happened inside of me when I heard this. I do not know what made this idea stick out to me among all of the other things this missionary was sharing, but I so know that as soon as he mentioned teaching English as a foreign language, I knew that was what I wanted to study. I had never before heard of teaching English as a second language. I had no idea what ESL meant. I did not know you could study teaching ESL. I just knew that I was supposed to be doing it.
We got home from church that afternoon, and I told my parents my idea. I think they were happy for me, but I do not remember any significant reaction, positive or negative, coming from them. The next Sunday, when we walked into the sanctuary, there were little slips of paper on each chair listing the foreign mission trips our church would be involved in over the coming year. As I glanced at the little piece of paper, I noticed a trip to South East Asia. I scrolled my eyes over to the description of the trip, only to find that a team was going to teach conversational English! It was the perfect opportunity that God had placed in my lap, and although I was scared, I followed Him anyway.
My trip was probably one of the greatest experiences of my life. However, it also brougt to my mind a lot of worries about the future. These worries were only elevated on my admission to college. I began realizing the greatness of the call God put on my life. I became scared. What would I do in a high risk nation without my family? How would I survive? I realized my lack of qualification. I could never go up to a stranger and begin a conversation, especially with the purpose of sharing something that is highly dangerous in their country to talk about. I can't even manage learning Spanish; how am I supposed to speak another language in order to teach a class a language that is foregin to them? All of these fears built up inside of me. In addition to that, I felt completely inadequate spiritually as well. Who am I to serve God overseas if I cannot regularly set aside time to meet with Him every morning? Who am I to share Jesus with people in another counrty if I struggle to share Jesus with the people I know here? My prayer quickly turned from praise to God about the great work He had done in revealing His plan to a plea for Him to remove it from me. I found myself in Moses's place, asking God to "send someone else to do it."
I have come to realize, though, that God is a big God. The words that He spoke to Moses resonate in my mind: "Who gave man his mouth? Who made him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say." God does not need my ablities to work in the world. He chooses to use my surrendered self, but it is He who does the work. I have also come to realize that my life is not mine. I have surrendered it to God. Thus, He is able to place me wherever He desires.
It is a daily struggle for me to continue following the path that God has laid before me, especially given my many fears and uncertainties. I am learning the meaning of picking up my cross daily and following Him. I am learning not to get ahead of myself, but to follow God one step at a time, taking one day at a time. I am trusting Him that years from now, I will be able to look back at all that I have gone through and praise God for doing a marvelous work in my life that I could not imagine.
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