Losing Control

Remember when you first took the training wheels off your bike? Remember how difficult it was to learn to ride it? I know I was terrified. It was so new and there was so much to do and think about. You have to balance, you have to pedal, you have to steer, and you have to look where you are going... all at the same time! It was too much, and I just could not do it! Maybe sometimes you started going, but you were wobbling back and forth trying to gain control, and eventually you just wiped out. That's how I feel right now.

I've been back at school for four weeks, but it feels like it's been four months. There's been so many things that I am having to be held responsible for and I am trying to learn how to balance it, but I feel like I'm failing. I am a student. I am an employee. I am a leader. I am a roommate. I am a friend. I am a family member. I am a Christian. And I am losing my mind! How can I do all of this? Even when I am going, I feel like I'm wobbling around and am eventually going to crash.

I was trying to think of an analogy for the way I have been feeling most recently (Sometimes the only way I can express myself is through a reference to something completely different.), and I was putting together this picture of losing control while trying to learn to ride a bike, but there's one thing about my picture that I forgot: I never had control of the bike in the first place. My daddy did.

When I first learned to ride a two-wheel bicycle, I did not do it by myself. My daddy taught me. He told me what I needed to do and he helped me do it. My daddy held the back of my seat with one hand so that I would not fall, and with the other hand he held my handle bar to push me in the right direction. My heavenly Daddy is doing the same thing for me right now. I am not learning these new things on my own. God is teaching me to handle these new responsibilities. My Daddy is holding me to make sure I do not fall and guiding me in the direction I need to go. Though it's hard learning these new things and trying to keep track of everything at the same time and keeping up with all of my responsibilities, I know that my Daddy is with me and He is not going to let me fail.

God, May I never become so comfortable that I believe that I can ride my bike by myself, but may I always depend on You to guide me and push me. I cannot do this alone, and I don't want to. I want You to go with me. Go before me and behind me.