Wednesday, January 13, 2010
At school I am surrounded by resources to help me grow in my relationship with God. I attend chapel three times a week, there's church on Sundays and Wednesdays, there are weekly prayer meetings and Bible studies, and even in class we're pushed to know God more. There are people everywhere who are growing and encouraging you to grow. When I come home, however, there are a lot fewer resources. Sure, my parents are great Christian leaders, and I still go to church, but really, there aren't many people and activities to help stimulate growth. It's just me, God, my Bible, and my prayer journal. Now that I've come to the last couple of days of break, I've tried looking back and seeing what it is God has taught me over the past month. At first, I was really worried that I hadn't learned anything, but after some thought, I realized that I learned and grew a lot.
It's been a tough year for me. Granted, it really hasn't been that tough, but for me it has. This past semester at school was so overwhelming with classes and work and leadership and responsibility. When I got home, it was so nice to just release that burden. But, you know when you're working out (I'm guessing here because working out is not something I do often... or hardly ever) and you're doing your crunches or lifts or running or whatever, and your whole body is aching, but you finally finish, and it's so satisfying to know you're done, but your body still aches and burns? That's how I felt. Still, I had a new burden to put on. My family has been going through some rough stuff. Being at school, I get to hear about it, but I'm not really a part of it. Being home just made it more real. So, still aching from the release of the past burden, I got to put on this new one and continue to feel overwhelmed. During this time, I realized how much more important it is to be disciplined. There were many days when I did not want to read my Bible. I just wanted to sleep or watch TV and vegetate on the couch and forget all of my worries. See, when I came to God, it meant that I had to talk about what was going on. I had to face my struggles and my fears and anxieties. I had to talk to Him about it and ask Him to do something about it, but I just didn't want to. I think really I just wanted to be lazy. Still, when I sought God anyways, I found a message much greater than all of my worries.
I've been trying to read through Exodus. The beginning of the book is quite exciting, but then you get to the part where God is giving Moses the law and instructions on how the tabernacle should be constructed and then Moses gives the artisans the instructions, and it's a lot of boring chapters and you just don't want to read it because it seems really irrelevant. Looking at the detailed instructions, though, made me realize how holy God is that He demanded such intricacy. He demanded the priests be cleansed. They must be made holy before coming before Him for the people. He demanded atonement for sins through sacrifice. He demanded everything for a specific purpose. Still, as holy as He is, He still desires the best for His people. God's presence rested over the tabernacle as a cloud in the day and as fire in the night. When His presence was lifted from above the tabernacle, it meant that the people were to leave where they were camped and continue traveling. He guided them wherever they needed to go. I still find it incredible to believe that God cares that much for us. We are a sinful people! Still, look at the relationship He had with Moses! Moses spent forty days on Mount Sinai with God. Exodus 33:11 says, "So the Lord spoke to Moses face to face, as a man speaks to his friend." As great a relationship God had with Moses that He talked to Him as a friend, Moses was still a sinful man. When Moses asked to see God, God told him that he could not see His face because he would die. Still, God said He would put His hand over Moses's face, and then after He had passed, would uncover Moses's eyes and allow him to see His back. Oh, that I could see just the back of God! If God's hand would touch my face! When Moses came down from the mountain, his skin glowed. I can't imagine this, but I think it is such a neat picture of how influential our relationship with God should be upon the rest of our life. moses had to wear a veil around the camp and only remove it when he returned to speak with God on the mountain.
All of these things are tucked in between the "boring chapters." As I read all of this, I was reminded of how holy God is and how small and sinful we are, but how God has made a way for us to have a relationship with Him. Jesus came as the perfect atoning sacrifice for all sin. He is the High Priest, the One through whom we can reach God. Now, God's presence resides in us. He guides us through His Holy Spirit. We do know Him. We can talk to Him, and He speaks to us. His power dwells in us. Romans says that the Spirit that rose Christ from the grave is the same Spirit that we now have, and with the Spirit, the same power! Hallelujah!
So, in closing, though it hasn't been an easy break, and though I am fearful of taking on so much responsibility once again, I am reminded that God is sovereign, and that, no matter what is going on around me, I can have joy in knowing that I have an eternal relationship with Him. He is bigger and better than all of my problems, and through Him, I have the power to do whatever He wills in whatever I am given.
It's been a tough year for me. Granted, it really hasn't been that tough, but for me it has. This past semester at school was so overwhelming with classes and work and leadership and responsibility. When I got home, it was so nice to just release that burden. But, you know when you're working out (I'm guessing here because working out is not something I do often... or hardly ever) and you're doing your crunches or lifts or running or whatever, and your whole body is aching, but you finally finish, and it's so satisfying to know you're done, but your body still aches and burns? That's how I felt. Still, I had a new burden to put on. My family has been going through some rough stuff. Being at school, I get to hear about it, but I'm not really a part of it. Being home just made it more real. So, still aching from the release of the past burden, I got to put on this new one and continue to feel overwhelmed. During this time, I realized how much more important it is to be disciplined. There were many days when I did not want to read my Bible. I just wanted to sleep or watch TV and vegetate on the couch and forget all of my worries. See, when I came to God, it meant that I had to talk about what was going on. I had to face my struggles and my fears and anxieties. I had to talk to Him about it and ask Him to do something about it, but I just didn't want to. I think really I just wanted to be lazy. Still, when I sought God anyways, I found a message much greater than all of my worries.
I've been trying to read through Exodus. The beginning of the book is quite exciting, but then you get to the part where God is giving Moses the law and instructions on how the tabernacle should be constructed and then Moses gives the artisans the instructions, and it's a lot of boring chapters and you just don't want to read it because it seems really irrelevant. Looking at the detailed instructions, though, made me realize how holy God is that He demanded such intricacy. He demanded the priests be cleansed. They must be made holy before coming before Him for the people. He demanded atonement for sins through sacrifice. He demanded everything for a specific purpose. Still, as holy as He is, He still desires the best for His people. God's presence rested over the tabernacle as a cloud in the day and as fire in the night. When His presence was lifted from above the tabernacle, it meant that the people were to leave where they were camped and continue traveling. He guided them wherever they needed to go. I still find it incredible to believe that God cares that much for us. We are a sinful people! Still, look at the relationship He had with Moses! Moses spent forty days on Mount Sinai with God. Exodus 33:11 says, "So the Lord spoke to Moses face to face, as a man speaks to his friend." As great a relationship God had with Moses that He talked to Him as a friend, Moses was still a sinful man. When Moses asked to see God, God told him that he could not see His face because he would die. Still, God said He would put His hand over Moses's face, and then after He had passed, would uncover Moses's eyes and allow him to see His back. Oh, that I could see just the back of God! If God's hand would touch my face! When Moses came down from the mountain, his skin glowed. I can't imagine this, but I think it is such a neat picture of how influential our relationship with God should be upon the rest of our life. moses had to wear a veil around the camp and only remove it when he returned to speak with God on the mountain.
All of these things are tucked in between the "boring chapters." As I read all of this, I was reminded of how holy God is and how small and sinful we are, but how God has made a way for us to have a relationship with Him. Jesus came as the perfect atoning sacrifice for all sin. He is the High Priest, the One through whom we can reach God. Now, God's presence resides in us. He guides us through His Holy Spirit. We do know Him. We can talk to Him, and He speaks to us. His power dwells in us. Romans says that the Spirit that rose Christ from the grave is the same Spirit that we now have, and with the Spirit, the same power! Hallelujah!
So, in closing, though it hasn't been an easy break, and though I am fearful of taking on so much responsibility once again, I am reminded that God is sovereign, and that, no matter what is going on around me, I can have joy in knowing that I have an eternal relationship with Him. He is bigger and better than all of my problems, and through Him, I have the power to do whatever He wills in whatever I am given.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
So... my attitude recently has been pretty sour. I stumbled upon this song a couple of months ago and loved the message of it. I kind of forgot about it for awhile until tonight, and it really made me reevaluate where I was. I have surrendered all to Christ. He has saved me from the deepest pit, and now all that I have and all that I am belongs to Him. I trust You, Lord.
"The Wind" by Randall Goodgame
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZP1UOPENIEw
"The Wind" by Randall Goodgame
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZP1UOPENIEw
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Mary was chosen to carry Him.
Joseph was told what to name Him.
The inns rejected Him.
The manger cradled Him.
The shepherds came to marvel at Him.
The wise men came to worship Him.
King Herod tried to kill Him.
The church leaders came to listen to Him.
John was chosen to baptise Him.
The disciples were chosen to follow Him.
The Pharisees despised Him.
The crowds adored Him.
The broken were healed by Him.
The lost where found by Him.
Judas betrayed Him.
The Romans captured Him.
Pilot could find no fault in Him.
The crowds yelled, "crucify Him!"
The soldiers mocked Him.
Peter denied Him.
He said, "Father, forgive them."
The Romans guarded Him.
But they weren't strong enough to keep Him in.
Many saw Him.
Now He's ascended.
But I still know Him.
And I still love Him.
And someday I will see Him.
All because God sent Him--out of love.
Joseph was told what to name Him.
The inns rejected Him.
The manger cradled Him.
The shepherds came to marvel at Him.
The wise men came to worship Him.
King Herod tried to kill Him.
The church leaders came to listen to Him.
John was chosen to baptise Him.
The disciples were chosen to follow Him.
The Pharisees despised Him.
The crowds adored Him.
The broken were healed by Him.
The lost where found by Him.
Judas betrayed Him.
The Romans captured Him.
Pilot could find no fault in Him.
The crowds yelled, "crucify Him!"
The soldiers mocked Him.
Peter denied Him.
He said, "Father, forgive them."
The Romans guarded Him.
But they weren't strong enough to keep Him in.
Many saw Him.
Now He's ascended.
But I still know Him.
And I still love Him.
And someday I will see Him.
All because God sent Him--out of love.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
As embarrassing as it is to admit, I do a lot of my thinking in the shower. It just seems to be a nice, convenient place to unwind and meditate on things. This morning, I was reminiscing on God's faithfulness in my life. I have come a long way in my relationship with Him. He has given me so much, and I am truly humbled to consider it. I grew up in a Christian home and was saved at a young age. For many years after that, though I have no doubt that I am a child of God, I struggled with the way God chose to change my life. I felt like my life didn't change much at all. I still went to church, I still memorized Bible verses, and life continued on as normal. I envied those who had a dramatic testimony of complete transformation from before they knew Christ to after receiving Him. Looking back on all of this in the shower this morning, I recognized something about God's grace: it is the perfect fit for everyone.
Sometimes, I think we view God's grace as too big for our sin. It is very easy for me to say, "There are a lot of people with a lot more, and I don't need to bother God with my sins." To put it more visually, we view God's grace as bulky, over-sized sweater. There's just too much fabric involved. There are bulges coming out everywhere, you can't even see your hands because the sleeves are too long, and it's just not attractive. You cannot wear this sweater. It was made for someone much larger than you. In the same way, we can believe that God's grace was made to cover people with bigger problems than our own. We are left naked and helpless.
Others of us, or perhaps we are the same people as before dealing with different sin, feel that God's grace is not big enough for what we are dealing with. Our problems are too large and embarrassing to God. We can view God's grace like a sweater that is too small. Try as we might to pull it over ourselves, we are left suffocating. It may cover most of you, but there is still plenty of skin left to cover. The skin tightness of the sweater does not hide much of what you were wishing to cover, nor does it allow you room to breathe. This sweater just doesn't fit right. In the same way, we can feel that God's grace will never cover all of the baggage we carry and will just suffocate us with more guilt of what we really look like.
Thank God that His grace is not like either of these! God's grace is the perfectly fitting sweater for every person no matter what size or shape. God's grace is great enough that it covers all of our sin and leaves us with no unwanted fabric or invisible hands. It is perfect enough that it doesn't leave us self conscious about what we are trying to hide underneath or what is still peeking out. His grace doesn't cut off the circulation in our arms because we tried to stretch it too thin, nor does it leave us even more weighed down with the heaviness of what we don't need. God's grace is exactly what we need. It covers every part that needs to be covered and covers it completely, and it is in His grace that we find perfect warmth and satisfaction knowing that we have been made attractive in His eyes.
Sometimes, I think we view God's grace as too big for our sin. It is very easy for me to say, "There are a lot of people with a lot more, and I don't need to bother God with my sins." To put it more visually, we view God's grace as bulky, over-sized sweater. There's just too much fabric involved. There are bulges coming out everywhere, you can't even see your hands because the sleeves are too long, and it's just not attractive. You cannot wear this sweater. It was made for someone much larger than you. In the same way, we can believe that God's grace was made to cover people with bigger problems than our own. We are left naked and helpless.
Others of us, or perhaps we are the same people as before dealing with different sin, feel that God's grace is not big enough for what we are dealing with. Our problems are too large and embarrassing to God. We can view God's grace like a sweater that is too small. Try as we might to pull it over ourselves, we are left suffocating. It may cover most of you, but there is still plenty of skin left to cover. The skin tightness of the sweater does not hide much of what you were wishing to cover, nor does it allow you room to breathe. This sweater just doesn't fit right. In the same way, we can feel that God's grace will never cover all of the baggage we carry and will just suffocate us with more guilt of what we really look like.
Thank God that His grace is not like either of these! God's grace is the perfectly fitting sweater for every person no matter what size or shape. God's grace is great enough that it covers all of our sin and leaves us with no unwanted fabric or invisible hands. It is perfect enough that it doesn't leave us self conscious about what we are trying to hide underneath or what is still peeking out. His grace doesn't cut off the circulation in our arms because we tried to stretch it too thin, nor does it leave us even more weighed down with the heaviness of what we don't need. God's grace is exactly what we need. It covers every part that needs to be covered and covers it completely, and it is in His grace that we find perfect warmth and satisfaction knowing that we have been made attractive in His eyes.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
We have finally made it to the last of the Campers, Chickens, and Hot Air Balloons series! It only took, like, 6 months? Oh, but when I read this story, I realize how well worth the wait was! I decided to write about this last week in a post by itself because something amazing happened in this last week that distinguished it from all the other weeks: we got to see God work.
I said in the previous post that I had finally surrendered to God my work. By doing this I gave Him the opportunity to work. I was no longer the one planning what to do or what to say. I no longer had any control over what was happening. (I didn't have any control before, but I guess I wanted to think that I did.) That was where I was at spiritually when this week started, and I only wish it hadn't taken me six weeks to get there.
Being girl's week, and being that we had about 30 girls between the four of us female counselors, we took advantage of the space we had and took over the cabins the boys had been using the weeks before. I was given my own cabin at the other end of the camp site (I was working with another counselor before) and a group of seven girls. Like I said before, each night we were in charge of leading cabin devotions before bed. Being resigned to God's will, not my own plans, I cannot tell you what we talked about each night. I did teach a devotion, I promise, but I could not tell you what any of the devotions were about. I do remember, however, the numerous questions I recieved after each topic was discussed: questions about creation and the validity of the Bible, about angels and God and baptism and salvation. I recieved queston after question after question, and I could not believe the way God was working in the hearts of these girls who desired nothing more than to know the truth. Some of these questions were harder to answer than others, but I tried my best to give the best answers I could. In the end, though, the only answer I really knew was Jesus Christ, so that's what I shared with them.
Each night I was able to share the gospel with my girls and talk about the great love that it took for God to make such a sacrifice. Weeks before, I had planned to give a presentation of the gospel on Wednesday nights (because the gospel is always presented on the 4th night of VBS and stuff), but this week was like a week long explanation of God's love and sacrifice for a relationship with us. Wednesday night came around, and the same thing happened in our cabin that had been happening all week long: questions. And, like every night before, I was able to share the gospel with my girls. This night, however, we were able to have a discussion about what it all meant afterward. We talked about the pain Jesus went through, both physically and spiritually. We talked about how much God loved us, even before we existed. These girls were shocked! Why would God do such a thing for me? Listening to their amazement made me realize the truly amazing thing that God did for me! One girl, after several had made a trip to the bathroom, asked me, "If this is true, then why aren't more people out there telling people about it?" My heart rose and sank at the same time. I was so proud of this girl for realizing the importance of such a decision, but I also realized the weight and depth of such a statement. She was right. Why aren't we taking the message of Jesus more seriously? Why aren't we sharing it more? Why don't we care like we should? This thought has stayed close to my heart ever since that night.
The next morning, as the girls got ready for breakfast, I lay on my bed marveling at how far God had taken us to this last full day of camp. I looked up to see one girl sitting on her bed READING HER BIBLE! I have never smiled so big in my life! I thanked God for the work He was able to do through me when I stepped to the side. God was not done working that day, however.
The whole week we had been preparing a few songs to sing and scriptures to read for our trip to the nursing home the last day. When we finally made it onto the bus to go to the nursing home, everyone was so excited (and loud)! This mood continued as we walked through the different sections of the home, singing "Jesus Loves Me" and "How Great is Our God," yet as time went by, the mood began to change. While we were singing to one elderly gentleman who was sitting in his wheelchair without his teeth in, I looked up to see one girl crying. Soon, another girl joined her, then another one, and another one... but the time we got back on the bus to leave, over half of the girls who were so full of laughter and excitement when we arrived at the nursing home we now silent with soggy faces. We decided that, instead of continuing with the plans we had made, we would move into a time of reflection and devotion when we arrived back at the camp.
We gathered all of the girls in the multipurpose room to talk about what they were going through. Many of them were greiving the loss of loved ones who had spent the last parts of their time in the nursing home. Others were just humbled and broken. One of the other counselors gave a gospel presentation. Then we broke the girls up into groups and prayed with them. I had the privilege of meeting and praying with seven girls. I asked them what God had been doing in their lives that week, and one girl (one in my cabin who had heard an unplanned gospel presentation every night; the one who I had seen reading her Bible that very morning) rose her hand to say that she did not have a relationship with God, but that she wanted to know how to. Wow. In that moment, I was so humbled. We had been restless to see God work and for someone to find His conviction and His truth all summer, and here on the last night of camp for the summer, was this girl who wanted to know Jesus. After I recomposed myself, I asked if there was anyone else in the group of seven who could say the same thing (that they wanted to know what it meant to have a relationship with God), and three more girls rose their hands. I had to sturggle to keep my jaw from hanging in shock at how God was working. I excitedly took these four girls to a corner of a room and shared with them and led them in prayer so that they might have a relationship with God.
If our night stopped there, it would have been exciting enough, but God was not done. I was able to talk to another girl about her conviction to get rid of things that were distrcting her from God and pursue medical missions. Another counselor led another girl to Christ and talked to her about what it means to be saved. God just did incredible things in those few hours. I cannot help but think about how much more He could have done if we had just surrendered to Him humbly in the first place. Yet, He is sovereign and so I trust that He will bring together His good and perfect will and plan, in spite of my mistakes. That is one thing that I find so amazing about Him.
So, that is finally the conclusion of the story of my summer at camp. I pet a chicken, I rode a hot air balloon, I met a lot of people, and I saw God work greatly. It was a great learning experience, and though there were times I wasn't glad for it in the moment, looking back, I appreciate it so much!
I said in the previous post that I had finally surrendered to God my work. By doing this I gave Him the opportunity to work. I was no longer the one planning what to do or what to say. I no longer had any control over what was happening. (I didn't have any control before, but I guess I wanted to think that I did.) That was where I was at spiritually when this week started, and I only wish it hadn't taken me six weeks to get there.
Being girl's week, and being that we had about 30 girls between the four of us female counselors, we took advantage of the space we had and took over the cabins the boys had been using the weeks before. I was given my own cabin at the other end of the camp site (I was working with another counselor before) and a group of seven girls. Like I said before, each night we were in charge of leading cabin devotions before bed. Being resigned to God's will, not my own plans, I cannot tell you what we talked about each night. I did teach a devotion, I promise, but I could not tell you what any of the devotions were about. I do remember, however, the numerous questions I recieved after each topic was discussed: questions about creation and the validity of the Bible, about angels and God and baptism and salvation. I recieved queston after question after question, and I could not believe the way God was working in the hearts of these girls who desired nothing more than to know the truth. Some of these questions were harder to answer than others, but I tried my best to give the best answers I could. In the end, though, the only answer I really knew was Jesus Christ, so that's what I shared with them.
Each night I was able to share the gospel with my girls and talk about the great love that it took for God to make such a sacrifice. Weeks before, I had planned to give a presentation of the gospel on Wednesday nights (because the gospel is always presented on the 4th night of VBS and stuff), but this week was like a week long explanation of God's love and sacrifice for a relationship with us. Wednesday night came around, and the same thing happened in our cabin that had been happening all week long: questions. And, like every night before, I was able to share the gospel with my girls. This night, however, we were able to have a discussion about what it all meant afterward. We talked about the pain Jesus went through, both physically and spiritually. We talked about how much God loved us, even before we existed. These girls were shocked! Why would God do such a thing for me? Listening to their amazement made me realize the truly amazing thing that God did for me! One girl, after several had made a trip to the bathroom, asked me, "If this is true, then why aren't more people out there telling people about it?" My heart rose and sank at the same time. I was so proud of this girl for realizing the importance of such a decision, but I also realized the weight and depth of such a statement. She was right. Why aren't we taking the message of Jesus more seriously? Why aren't we sharing it more? Why don't we care like we should? This thought has stayed close to my heart ever since that night.
The next morning, as the girls got ready for breakfast, I lay on my bed marveling at how far God had taken us to this last full day of camp. I looked up to see one girl sitting on her bed READING HER BIBLE! I have never smiled so big in my life! I thanked God for the work He was able to do through me when I stepped to the side. God was not done working that day, however.
The whole week we had been preparing a few songs to sing and scriptures to read for our trip to the nursing home the last day. When we finally made it onto the bus to go to the nursing home, everyone was so excited (and loud)! This mood continued as we walked through the different sections of the home, singing "Jesus Loves Me" and "How Great is Our God," yet as time went by, the mood began to change. While we were singing to one elderly gentleman who was sitting in his wheelchair without his teeth in, I looked up to see one girl crying. Soon, another girl joined her, then another one, and another one... but the time we got back on the bus to leave, over half of the girls who were so full of laughter and excitement when we arrived at the nursing home we now silent with soggy faces. We decided that, instead of continuing with the plans we had made, we would move into a time of reflection and devotion when we arrived back at the camp.
We gathered all of the girls in the multipurpose room to talk about what they were going through. Many of them were greiving the loss of loved ones who had spent the last parts of their time in the nursing home. Others were just humbled and broken. One of the other counselors gave a gospel presentation. Then we broke the girls up into groups and prayed with them. I had the privilege of meeting and praying with seven girls. I asked them what God had been doing in their lives that week, and one girl (one in my cabin who had heard an unplanned gospel presentation every night; the one who I had seen reading her Bible that very morning) rose her hand to say that she did not have a relationship with God, but that she wanted to know how to. Wow. In that moment, I was so humbled. We had been restless to see God work and for someone to find His conviction and His truth all summer, and here on the last night of camp for the summer, was this girl who wanted to know Jesus. After I recomposed myself, I asked if there was anyone else in the group of seven who could say the same thing (that they wanted to know what it meant to have a relationship with God), and three more girls rose their hands. I had to sturggle to keep my jaw from hanging in shock at how God was working. I excitedly took these four girls to a corner of a room and shared with them and led them in prayer so that they might have a relationship with God.
If our night stopped there, it would have been exciting enough, but God was not done. I was able to talk to another girl about her conviction to get rid of things that were distrcting her from God and pursue medical missions. Another counselor led another girl to Christ and talked to her about what it means to be saved. God just did incredible things in those few hours. I cannot help but think about how much more He could have done if we had just surrendered to Him humbly in the first place. Yet, He is sovereign and so I trust that He will bring together His good and perfect will and plan, in spite of my mistakes. That is one thing that I find so amazing about Him.
So, that is finally the conclusion of the story of my summer at camp. I pet a chicken, I rode a hot air balloon, I met a lot of people, and I saw God work greatly. It was a great learning experience, and though there were times I wasn't glad for it in the moment, looking back, I appreciate it so much!
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