Can I Bite Your Nose?

It has been three weeks since I've gotten back from my trip in Southeast Asia, and I miss everyone terribly. I've been reading through 1 Kings, and since being back, I have loved reading about the testimony of Elijah and the faith that he showed. It has been really exciting to read how God worked through him, and it's also been challenging to my own relationship with God. In fact, I was reviewing my prayer journal since I've been back, and I said to God, "I desire to trust You more." Well, these past three weeks have certainly been a trial in trust.

This summer I am working at a camp. In fact, I'm working at the same rustic, middle-of-nowhere camp that I worked at two summers ago. Since the camp is fairly close to home, I've decided to come home every weekend. The first week of work was "orientation." As a team of counselors, we spent the week cleaning the camp and brainstorming ideas for the summer. When I got back home Friday, I did not expect to have the weekend that I did. I got some bad news Friday evening that I was not expecting at all. I was so shocked and confused, not just about the news I received, but also about the way that I received it, that I just broke down. In fact, I was broken down all weekend, and I honestly didn't want to go back to camp this past week. I knew that I was going to be counted on to interact with a lot of kids, and I just wanted to be alone. I am so glad I was where I was this week, though.

This week, the kids began asking each other if they could bite each others' noses. It looks as ridiculous as it sounds, but apparently, it's "the ultimate question of trust." I thought about this as I reflected on the frustration of this still unresolved situation from the weekend before. In the frustration of my current circumstances to God, and the message I keep hearing back is, "Trust me. I know what I am doing. I have always known." It's a wonderful message, but it is so difficult to accept when you're upset. The campers were just playing a silly game that they made up, and there are a lot of other things more difficult to trust others with than their teeth around your schnoz, but the idea of trust remains. As silly as it sounds, you do not know if the person who is about to bite your nose is going to hurt you or not... but they know what they're doing. I have no idea what is coming in the future or how this situation is going to end up, but I do know that God knows what He's doing better than I know what's coming. I am learning to trust Him, just as I told Him I desire to do. It is by no means easy or even pleasant right now, but I also have hope in the future because I know He cares for me, even when I am frustrated and angry and don't want to trust Him.

God,

Thank You for listening to me, even when it is not what I expect to hear in return. I do not like the uncertainty of the situation I am in right now, but I am learning that You have known since before the beginning of time where I would be right now and where I will be in the future. Thank You for caring about the little worries that I have, and for desiring the best for me, even in those moments. I am sorry for not trusting You, but I truly do desire to trust You more. Please continue to walk me through the lessons You are teaching me. Thank You for Your patience. I love You.