Thursday, March 13, 2014
God,
My stomach churns at the thought of approaching You, because I know my sin, I despise my sin, yet I return to my sin as a dog returns to its vomit. And I keep coming back here hoping to find immediate release and freedom, but I think what I've actually been searching for is a clear conscience, not a clean heart.
God, I'm reading through Leviticus about all of the sacrifices that were made for sin, and I can't help but think, "If only there was something I could do, a sacrifice I could make, then all would be better and I would be forgiven." But You punished Israel's constant rebellion mixed with nonchalant ritualism, and as for me, the sacrifice has already been paid. The sacrifice has already been paid!
Even for these sins? Even for these broken commitments and false promises? Surely not, God. Surely, You only redeemed the life before I knew You. Now I am on my own, because now I know better.
God, I have forgotten Your gospel and grown numb to Your grace.
Help me, Lord. This is my honest prayer. Not some empty words strung together to try and win back Your affection; this is my prayer. Preach to me again Your gospel. Teach me how to live by grace. Break my bones and sing to me the soothing song of Your healing.
"Create in me a clean heart and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Then I will teach transgressors your ways, so that sinners will turn back to you. Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God, you who are God my Savior, and my tongue will sing of your righteousness. Open my lips, Lord, and my mouth will declare Your praise. You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; You do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart You, God, will not despise." (from Psalm 51)
My stomach churns at the thought of approaching You, because I know my sin, I despise my sin, yet I return to my sin as a dog returns to its vomit. And I keep coming back here hoping to find immediate release and freedom, but I think what I've actually been searching for is a clear conscience, not a clean heart.
God, I'm reading through Leviticus about all of the sacrifices that were made for sin, and I can't help but think, "If only there was something I could do, a sacrifice I could make, then all would be better and I would be forgiven." But You punished Israel's constant rebellion mixed with nonchalant ritualism, and as for me, the sacrifice has already been paid. The sacrifice has already been paid!
Even for these sins? Even for these broken commitments and false promises? Surely not, God. Surely, You only redeemed the life before I knew You. Now I am on my own, because now I know better.
God, I have forgotten Your gospel and grown numb to Your grace.
Help me, Lord. This is my honest prayer. Not some empty words strung together to try and win back Your affection; this is my prayer. Preach to me again Your gospel. Teach me how to live by grace. Break my bones and sing to me the soothing song of Your healing.
"Create in me a clean heart and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Then I will teach transgressors your ways, so that sinners will turn back to you. Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God, you who are God my Savior, and my tongue will sing of your righteousness. Open my lips, Lord, and my mouth will declare Your praise. You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; You do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart You, God, will not despise." (from Psalm 51)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
0 comments:
Post a Comment