Monday, September 16, 2013
Maybe it's just me, but it seems like lately social media has been buzzing with articles with opinions and advice about relationships. A recently popular article, written by a woman in her mid-twenties, describes the frustrations of young singles everywhere who feel pressured to move on to the next big thing. I must admit that I appreciated the honesty of this article in articulating what apparently millions of people are going through. However, I think that many people who shared the article did so pointing a finger at those pressuring them without considering the three fingers pointed back at themselves. Yes, perhaps people need to realize that the things they say, even jokingly, can cause pain and anxiety. But I can say for myself, reading this article made it very easy to become more bitter and frustrated with those situations and people that I feel pressure me instead of working on my own attitude toward my current circumstances.
So, I've decided to write something a little different than what I usually do. Instead of sharing what I'm learning about my relationship with God, I want to share with you what I have learned about relationships with other people. I have to admit that my relationship experience is severely lacking. And by that, I mean I have none. That's right. I'm in my early/mid twenties, and I've never been in a relationship. But that doesn't mean I haven't learned a few things. I have learned so much that is so relevant to those who feel inadequate, incomplete or under pressure without a significant other. Yes, people say things that make us feel bad, but we choose to believe things about relationships that just aren't true! We need to carefully evaluate what we think about relationships, separate the truths from the lies, and do some major readjustments in our attitudes. So here is a list of the lies we believe about relationships and what we need to do to change our thinking:
Lie #1: God will give you the desires of your heart.
Ok, so this is kind of biblical, but perhaps not in the way I've heard it applied. I cannot tell you how many times someone has told me that, if I want a family someday, God will give it to me. But I can tell you there are plenty of things that I desire in my heart that do not align with what God wants.
What needs to change: Delight in God. When I delight in something, when I enjoy it and take pleasure in it, it becomes my desire. When I delight in ice cream, I want more ice cream. When I find pleasure in spending time with my friends, I want to spend more time with them. When I delight in the Lord, He becomes the desire of my heart and He changes my other desires. Sure, I desire a family someday to love and support, but it doesn't consume me like it could because I delight in the Lord.
Lie #2: I don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend because something is wrong with me. Of course something is wrong with all of us and that's why we need a Savior, but that's not what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about the belief that if you were better looking, thinner, more in-shape, smarter, more godly, more extroverted, more introverted, etc., you would be able to get a boyfriend/girlfriend. The reason you don't is because you aren't these things.
What needs to change: Stop comparing yourself to others. Stop it. Nobody wins when you compare yourself to other people. I remember complaining to my mom one time about how much smarter the other students in my class were and how intimidated and inadequate I felt. Her words back to me were, "There will always be someone better than you." It wasn't until then that I realized that comparing myself to other people was natural. I can't help it! It takes conscious effort to stop myself from seeing my own failings in light of the success of others. Sometimes I have to force myself not to look in the mirror a second time because I know it's only to point out my flaws. I have to choose to be content with not being the best at school or art or cooking or whatever. That doesn't mean I don't try to grow and become better. That's a part of maturing. But it does mean that I cannot blame my relationship status on my perceived shortcomings. If I am content with who I am in Christ, then I have no reason to worry that I don't have a boyfriend because I'm less than what I should be.
Lie #3: Being in a relationship will make me content. I believe the way Tom Cruise said it was, "You complete me." Wrong. Not only is this a lie, it's a dangerous lie. If we believe that the temptation to feel discontent goes away once we gain a significant other, we run the risk of letting our guard down and falling into greater sin when we do enter into a relationship.
What needs to change: Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life (Prov. 4:23). No person will ever "complete" you. Marriage is good. God created it good. But sin has made us fallen creatures, and even as renewed believers, we still fail. If you are not careful, you will feel the need to find satisfaction somewhere else or in another way. Do not let fleeting emotions guide your decisions, but consider the truth before taking action of any kind. And remember that true satisfaction comes from knowing the Lord.
Lie #4: Boys are stupid. Throw Rocks at them. Perhaps you don't actually think you should throw rocks at boys, but I'm sure at one time or another something along the lines of "Ugh! Why do boys have to be so dumb!?" has come out of your mouth.
What needs to change: Start seeing people as God's creations. I had this professor in college that made all 300 of her students look to the person to their right and left and tell them, "You are a beautiful creation of God!" every. single. class. It made it pretty hard to take a statement like that seriously in those circumstances. But in all honesty, we are missing out if we don't see people- all people- as creations of God. So stop viewing that boy as possibly a chance to get a date. Stop evaluating all the single guys in your class on their looks or smarts or abilities. If you shouldn't be viewed that way yourself, then neither should they. Instead, treat them like the human beings they are. When you do, you have a freedom to build friendships (within certain boundaries, of course). You allow them the opportunity to be themselves without pressure and you allow yourself the freedom not to worry about what they think of you or how you should act around them.
Lie #5: I'm lonely because I'm alone. Though you may feel alone, let me assure you, you are not. Unless you live on Mars or in Montana, there are people all around you, many of which are probably feeling the same way you do. The root of your loneliness is not your relationship status.
What needs to change: Invest in your other relationships. Of course, the first place to start is your relationship with God. Not only does God promise over and over again in His Word that He is with us, but He also says He understands our current circumstances. Hebrews says, "we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." (4:15-16) We have a sympathetic Savior. He understands and He is with you. Take pleasure in knowing Him. But also spend time investing in relationships with people around you. Laugh and have fun. Be purposeful in your conversations about Jesus. Make true friends, not just the ones you say hey to in the grocery store, but those you text silly dog pictures to in the middle of the night and promise to pray for every day. You are not alone, and nothing defuses that lie more than building up good, solid relationships.
Of course this is not an exhaustive list of our misconceptions about relationships, but I think that when we have the correct views of ourselves, of our relationship with God, and our relationships with others, we are on a pretty good track to changing our own attitude about our current situations. Of course there are still times when I worry about not being in a relationship. But I know how to separate the lies from the truth and reminding myself of truth calms my anxious heart and fills me with peace and joy in my circumstances, whatever they may be.
So, I've decided to write something a little different than what I usually do. Instead of sharing what I'm learning about my relationship with God, I want to share with you what I have learned about relationships with other people. I have to admit that my relationship experience is severely lacking. And by that, I mean I have none. That's right. I'm in my early/mid twenties, and I've never been in a relationship. But that doesn't mean I haven't learned a few things. I have learned so much that is so relevant to those who feel inadequate, incomplete or under pressure without a significant other. Yes, people say things that make us feel bad, but we choose to believe things about relationships that just aren't true! We need to carefully evaluate what we think about relationships, separate the truths from the lies, and do some major readjustments in our attitudes. So here is a list of the lies we believe about relationships and what we need to do to change our thinking:
Lie #1: God will give you the desires of your heart.
Ok, so this is kind of biblical, but perhaps not in the way I've heard it applied. I cannot tell you how many times someone has told me that, if I want a family someday, God will give it to me. But I can tell you there are plenty of things that I desire in my heart that do not align with what God wants.
Lie #2: I don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend because something is wrong with me. Of course something is wrong with all of us and that's why we need a Savior, but that's not what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about the belief that if you were better looking, thinner, more in-shape, smarter, more godly, more extroverted, more introverted, etc., you would be able to get a boyfriend/girlfriend. The reason you don't is because you aren't these things.
Lie #3: Being in a relationship will make me content. I believe the way Tom Cruise said it was, "You complete me." Wrong. Not only is this a lie, it's a dangerous lie. If we believe that the temptation to feel discontent goes away once we gain a significant other, we run the risk of letting our guard down and falling into greater sin when we do enter into a relationship.
Lie #4: Boys are stupid. Throw Rocks at them. Perhaps you don't actually think you should throw rocks at boys, but I'm sure at one time or another something along the lines of "Ugh! Why do boys have to be so dumb!?" has come out of your mouth.
Lie #5: I'm lonely because I'm alone. Though you may feel alone, let me assure you, you are not. Unless you live on Mars or in Montana, there are people all around you, many of which are probably feeling the same way you do. The root of your loneliness is not your relationship status.
What needs to change: Invest in your other relationships. Of course, the first place to start is your relationship with God. Not only does God promise over and over again in His Word that He is with us, but He also says He understands our current circumstances. Hebrews says, "we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." (4:15-16) We have a sympathetic Savior. He understands and He is with you. Take pleasure in knowing Him. But also spend time investing in relationships with people around you. Laugh and have fun. Be purposeful in your conversations about Jesus. Make true friends, not just the ones you say hey to in the grocery store, but those you text silly dog pictures to in the middle of the night and promise to pray for every day. You are not alone, and nothing defuses that lie more than building up good, solid relationships.
Of course this is not an exhaustive list of our misconceptions about relationships, but I think that when we have the correct views of ourselves, of our relationship with God, and our relationships with others, we are on a pretty good track to changing our own attitude about our current situations. Of course there are still times when I worry about not being in a relationship. But I know how to separate the lies from the truth and reminding myself of truth calms my anxious heart and fills me with peace and joy in my circumstances, whatever they may be.
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Faithful. We use that word a lot in the church. We use it in songs, in prayers, in sermons and Sunday School lessons. But it's a word that I've gained new perspective in recently, and I'm so excited to share with you what God has pressed on my heart.
Recently, there's been a lot of articles popping up on social media (maybe it's just in my circle of friends) about relationships: modesty, lust, biblical manhood and womanhood, what's appropriate for dating, what's appropriate for marriage, and so on. It's like relationship advice overload. Divorce and separation has also been something that has come up a lot recently in conversation with my friends. I know that sounds kind of strange, but I've had several discussions recently about what would be appropriate grounds breaking up with someone or for divorce. The Pharisees asked Jesus this question in Matthew 19: "Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?" Jesus told them that God created man and woman to come together and become one flesh, not to be separated, but that, because of the sinfulness of man, the Law of Moses was given that "whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery." So, it would seem and has been argued, that sexual immorality is proper grounds for divorce. But what level of sexual immorality? Jesus said during His Sermon on the Mount that whoever looks at a woman in lust has already committed adultery in his heart. In today's age, is pornography a valid reason for divorce? How many times do you try to mend the relationship with your spouse before you say enough is enough? Whether we have been directly affected by divorce or just know someone who has, I think we can all agree that all divorce is difficult and ugly. Jesus was right (duh.) when He said the law of divorce was created because of our sinfulness. We are fallen people. As believers, our relationships are meant to be reflections of God. Made in His image, we are able to do that, but fallen and sinful we do that imperfectly, and even our best relationships endure hardships and struggles.
So all of this talk about human relationships, what's good and what's bad and when is it OK to divorce led me to thinking about how God relates to us. As my friend and I were talking about divorce, Hosea's name was brought up. I love the testimony of Hosea. I would never want to be Hosea (Sorry, Man.) but I think his story is beautiful. I know that God called Hosea to marry Gomer as a message to the nation of Israel, but in His big picture, I think that we can celebrate God's faithful love not just to Israel, but to us as well. In my discussion about at what point do differences become irreconcilable, I wondered what it would be like to place my relationship with God in a completely human context. It would look a lot like the picture in Hosea. I am a wicked person. I struggle with sin daily, and too often sin wins. In my relationship with God, I am an adulterer. I am unfaithful. I play around and give my heart to others. If ours were merely a human relationship, there would be no question nor a lack of support for separation because of my infidelity. That breaks my heart. And yet, God, in His holiness and in His perfect goodness has remained faithful and loving, when all human reason would say to leave, to separate. He has stayed faithful to His promises, and I have been given a love greater than I could ever expect or imagine, greater than I could ever give anyone. The realization of God's complete faithfulness is extremely humbling. It's completely convicting. What possible response could I give to the One who has loved me so perfectly? Of course my response must be one of surrender. I imagine this picture of a woman, who ran away from home looking for something greater, something more exciting, because the words and lies of the world were so enticing, she became blind to the great care she had in her own home. She searches and searches for what she thinks will bring her greater fulfillment, but even the moments of pleasure pass and she is left unsatisfied and alone. She returns home dirty, bruised, and broken. Her strength is gone and she collapses at her husband's feet, weeping because of her shame. Surely he has the right to leave her, and no one would hold it against him if he did. But he picks her up, and holds her tightly in his arms as he quietly and gently washes off all of the mud and clay from her face, bandages her wounds, combs through her hair until all the tangles are gone, and dresses her in warm, clean clothes. He loves her and cares for her, despite her betrayal. That is our relationship with God. Though we have all we ever need, more than we could ever desire, we turn our hearts elsewhere looking for something greater, with this twisted idea of what love should be. Yet, even in our most shameful moments, He remains faithful not only to us, but to His promises and to His character. And the only proper response we can give is one of humility and surrender and imperfect love in return. What a lovely, beautiful God we serve.
Great is Thy Faithfulness, O God my Father.
There is no turning of shadow with Thee.
Thou changest not. Thy compassions, they fail not.
As Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be.
Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hands hath provided.
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me.
Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide.
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine with ten thousand beside!
Recently, there's been a lot of articles popping up on social media (maybe it's just in my circle of friends) about relationships: modesty, lust, biblical manhood and womanhood, what's appropriate for dating, what's appropriate for marriage, and so on. It's like relationship advice overload. Divorce and separation has also been something that has come up a lot recently in conversation with my friends. I know that sounds kind of strange, but I've had several discussions recently about what would be appropriate grounds breaking up with someone or for divorce. The Pharisees asked Jesus this question in Matthew 19: "Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?" Jesus told them that God created man and woman to come together and become one flesh, not to be separated, but that, because of the sinfulness of man, the Law of Moses was given that "whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery." So, it would seem and has been argued, that sexual immorality is proper grounds for divorce. But what level of sexual immorality? Jesus said during His Sermon on the Mount that whoever looks at a woman in lust has already committed adultery in his heart. In today's age, is pornography a valid reason for divorce? How many times do you try to mend the relationship with your spouse before you say enough is enough? Whether we have been directly affected by divorce or just know someone who has, I think we can all agree that all divorce is difficult and ugly. Jesus was right (duh.) when He said the law of divorce was created because of our sinfulness. We are fallen people. As believers, our relationships are meant to be reflections of God. Made in His image, we are able to do that, but fallen and sinful we do that imperfectly, and even our best relationships endure hardships and struggles.
So all of this talk about human relationships, what's good and what's bad and when is it OK to divorce led me to thinking about how God relates to us. As my friend and I were talking about divorce, Hosea's name was brought up. I love the testimony of Hosea. I would never want to be Hosea (Sorry, Man.) but I think his story is beautiful. I know that God called Hosea to marry Gomer as a message to the nation of Israel, but in His big picture, I think that we can celebrate God's faithful love not just to Israel, but to us as well. In my discussion about at what point do differences become irreconcilable, I wondered what it would be like to place my relationship with God in a completely human context. It would look a lot like the picture in Hosea. I am a wicked person. I struggle with sin daily, and too often sin wins. In my relationship with God, I am an adulterer. I am unfaithful. I play around and give my heart to others. If ours were merely a human relationship, there would be no question nor a lack of support for separation because of my infidelity. That breaks my heart. And yet, God, in His holiness and in His perfect goodness has remained faithful and loving, when all human reason would say to leave, to separate. He has stayed faithful to His promises, and I have been given a love greater than I could ever expect or imagine, greater than I could ever give anyone. The realization of God's complete faithfulness is extremely humbling. It's completely convicting. What possible response could I give to the One who has loved me so perfectly? Of course my response must be one of surrender. I imagine this picture of a woman, who ran away from home looking for something greater, something more exciting, because the words and lies of the world were so enticing, she became blind to the great care she had in her own home. She searches and searches for what she thinks will bring her greater fulfillment, but even the moments of pleasure pass and she is left unsatisfied and alone. She returns home dirty, bruised, and broken. Her strength is gone and she collapses at her husband's feet, weeping because of her shame. Surely he has the right to leave her, and no one would hold it against him if he did. But he picks her up, and holds her tightly in his arms as he quietly and gently washes off all of the mud and clay from her face, bandages her wounds, combs through her hair until all the tangles are gone, and dresses her in warm, clean clothes. He loves her and cares for her, despite her betrayal. That is our relationship with God. Though we have all we ever need, more than we could ever desire, we turn our hearts elsewhere looking for something greater, with this twisted idea of what love should be. Yet, even in our most shameful moments, He remains faithful not only to us, but to His promises and to His character. And the only proper response we can give is one of humility and surrender and imperfect love in return. What a lovely, beautiful God we serve.
Great is Thy Faithfulness, O God my Father.
There is no turning of shadow with Thee.
Thou changest not. Thy compassions, they fail not.
As Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be.
Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hands hath provided.
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me.
Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide.
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine with ten thousand beside!
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Can you believe that we're almost halfway through July already? It seems like summer just started, and yet the fall semester is right around the corner. This summer has been great! My roommate and I moved into our first apartment. I've gotten a chance to catch up with some old high school friends, I've been able to do some fun reading, I visited family, I'm taking a couple of classes, and I'm working. It's just been the perfect balance of relaxing and being productive. Working at the campus library during the summer can be pretty dull as you can imagine. I'm not complaining about the stillness of it all. But usually if I come home with a story about how I got a papercut, it's been an exciting day. There is one thing, though, that changes the mood of all of the library staff, even on the most mellow of days: free food. It sounds ridiculous, and it probably is, but there's just something about those two words and what they mean put together that makes people crazy. (I mean crazy in the mildest sense of the word, of course. It is a library after all.) Let me just explain to you what I mean:
Every once in awhile, there is a lady that brings in a couple of boxes of Krispy Kreme donuts for the staff. As soon as they pass through the front door, the eyes of all the workers up front follow those boxes until they reach the back where the break room is. Immediately phone calls are made, emails are sent out, workers comb through the stacks to find all of the staff and let them know that there are donuts in the back break room. It's kind of like watching a virus spread, only a virus of good, tasty news. One person catches the donut-bug who gives it to another, who infects two more people, who give it to other people, until absolutely no one is left who hasn't heard that there are donuts in the break room. Then they start coming. All of the people with offices upstairs, one-by-one make their way down into the break room. The librarians who work in the back come out front to fill their coffee cups to sip along with their donuts. Us student workers take turns going into the back while the others watch the desks. It's incredible the amount of movement that happens all because someone was gracious enough to bring us a treat.
The first time I experienced this phenomenon in the library, I just had to laugh. I couldn't believe all of the commotion going on over donuts! It was amazing. But it also gave me a great picture of something much deeper and more important. As I watched the way the news traveled from person to person and the excitement that came from it all, I couldn't help but think about the shepherds who were told by the multitude of angels to go worship the Messiah who had be born in Bethlehem and was lying in a manger. After the shepherd had seen the baby Jesus, the Bible says, "they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them." (Luke 2:17-18) The shepherds had met the Messiah that had been promised and waited for since the fall of man. Of course they were excited to share the good news they had seen and heard! I also think about the Samaritan woman that Jesus met at the well, and how, after Jesus told her all she had ever done, she ran into the town to tell everyone what about this man she had met. "Could this be the Messiah?" (John 4:29) Perhaps it's silly to compare donuts to the gospel, but what I witnessed in the library provided me with a small glimpse of what it must have been like that night in Bethlehem or that day at the well. And then of course came conviction.
I, too, like the shepherds, like the Samaritan woman, have met the Messiah. He has exposed everything I have ever done. He has come to me in my humble position. I have worshipped Him. I have drunk of His living water. Yet I can't remember the last time I was as excited about meeting Jesus as my fellow workers were about eating donuts. I was having a conversation with my brother the other day about how Christianity is so offensive to some people. While I don't think that we as believers should strive to offend people, I do think that, if we are excited about and sharing our faith as we should be, some people are going to be offended. Jesus warned His disciples about this when He said, "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you... They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the one who sent me." (John 15:18-19, 21) Throughout history, since the disciples began preaching the gospel of Christ, they were hated and persecuted. And still their passion could not be squelched. I am so blessed to be able to live a comfortable life, to study at a seminary, to talk about the Bible openly with my friends. But as great of a privilege as it has been, I also think that I have been given a great disadvantage in that I don't know what it is to suffer for what I believe, and in fact, the fear of suffering has kept me from experiencing the great joy of sharing my faith out of the excitement of what Christ has done in my life. Instead, my excitement has been turned to things like donuts. So, next time donuts are brought into work, should I encourage my co-workers to curb their enthusiasm? No, I don't think it's wrong to get excited about free food. But I do think it's important to keep in perspective the good news that I have about the Christ who sacrificed Himself out of love so that I may have a restored relationship with my Creator. That, my friends, is much more exciting than the fact that there are donuts in the break room.
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Who am I?
I am Israel.
Forgetting
the promises of the faithful One and choosing to follow the created rather than
Creator.
I am Gomer.
Faithfully
loved by One but constantly seeking the love of others who will never satisfy
my longing.
I am Judas.
Masquerading
as a follower of the One who can save yet willing to betray the Truth for my
own profit.
I am Cain.
Brought
to hate those closest to me because of selfishness and pride.
I am Lot.
Tempted
to follow what looks too good to be true and finding that it is.
I am Saul.
Given the kingdom but driven mad with the fear of losing it.
I am Solomon.
Given
unimaginable riches and still unsatisfied.
I am Samson.
Dancing
with the enemy not considering the grave consequences that follow.
I am the Pharisees.
Ignoring
Truth for tradition and condemning others for not doing the same.
But.
I am new.
I
live not by my flesh but by His Spirit.
I am alive.
I
have been lifted out of my self-made grave and set on solid ground.
I am forgiven.
All
of my pride has been forgotten and in its place remains humility and praise.
I am called.
No
longer do I wander, because I have One to live for.
I am loved.
I
have been lavished with grace and affection that I do not deserve.
I am righteous.
From
no efforts of my own am I good, but from the efforts of One greater.
I am free.
I am
not burdened by the shame and guilt of my past.
I am secure.
I
know my place is in His hands, in His arms, and in the apple of His eye.
Who am I?
I am
His.
And
He is mine.
Sunday, April 21, 2013
"Hate the sin; love the sinner." What does this phrase really mean? We throw it around in Christian circles a lot, but is it something we really believe and live? It wasn't until recently that I've had to struggle with the balance of hate for someone's actions and love for them as a person, and until that moment, I had no idea how far stretching this concept really goes. In light of recent national events, I think that it is an important reminder that needs to be shared, first of what great love we have been shown and then of what love we should show those around us.
There are certain sins that are easier to look past than others. We can hate homosexuality, pride, abuse of alcohol... and still love the people we call homosexual, prideful, and alcoholics. But what about those people who rape women, shoot elementary school children, or bomb athletic events? Is it possible to love those people while hating their sin? That is an extremely difficult question, but I think that to answer it, another question must be examined:
What love have I been shown? I have to recognize that I have offended God. Throughout history we are given example after example of how we fall short of the glory of God. Adam and Eve disobeyed God's command not to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Cain murdered his brother Able. Israel continually doubted God's power and provision and turned to other gods. Even the heroes of Scripture failed to satisfy God's standard: Abraham had a child by his wife's servant because they didn't understand how God would provide them a promised heir, Moses was not able to enter the Promised Land because of his disobedience, and David had a man killed to cover up his adultery. In Hosea we are given a comparison between Israel's unfaithfulness to God and the infidelity of an adulterous wife. I must recognize that I am no better than these. I am Israel. I am Gomer. I have offended a most holy God. What can I do to fulfill what He requires? Nothing. Yet He has loved me.
I've written before about the love that Christ showed me while I was still His enemy (here), but in case you don't want to go back and read it, let me just recap. John 15 says, "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends." We recognize that this is what Christ did for us. He laid down his life for us, showing us the greatest, most perfect love that one could ever have for another. Yet in Romans 5, Paul writes, "For one would hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." When we were still God's enemies Christ showed us the greatest love by laying down His life on our behalf, by taking our place, becoming our substitute. God has hated my sin, but has loved me with such a love as to send His Son to pay the debt that I owe for my offense. So what does that mean for me now?
It is because of God's love for me that I can love others. I hate the evil I see in the world. I hate the things I see on the news. It breaks my heart to think of the lives lost in the Newtown shooting or at the Boston Marathon or the stabbings at Lone Star College. So how do I hate the sin that these men committed and still love them as Christ has loved me? I think that it starts with recognizing that God has shown me great love and that He loves these men as well. I have to admit that I am easily inclined to hate people who commit horrendous, unthinkable crimes. But then I remember that these people have friends and family and neighbors and co-workers who love and care for them and I think about the emotions that they are going through knowing that their loved one has done something so unthinkable. I also must remember that these men need the Lord. God loves them. He loves them with perfect love just as He loves us. But they have not yet recognized His love for them. Lastly, I must pray for them. I pray that as they are prosecuted, the truth is presented and justice is given. However, I also pray for their souls, that they would recognize God's good favor and offer of salvation even towards the worst offenders. And I pray for their loved ones who are left emotionally torn between defending justice and desiring grace.
So do I defend the actions of these bad people? Absolutely not. I abhor them. However, I recognize that I, too have offended the highest standard of righteousness and yet have found favor and grace. It is because I have experienced love that I can love others, including these men, even though I cannot understand nor accept their actions.
In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. -1 John 4:10-11
There are certain sins that are easier to look past than others. We can hate homosexuality, pride, abuse of alcohol... and still love the people we call homosexual, prideful, and alcoholics. But what about those people who rape women, shoot elementary school children, or bomb athletic events? Is it possible to love those people while hating their sin? That is an extremely difficult question, but I think that to answer it, another question must be examined:
What love have I been shown? I have to recognize that I have offended God. Throughout history we are given example after example of how we fall short of the glory of God. Adam and Eve disobeyed God's command not to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Cain murdered his brother Able. Israel continually doubted God's power and provision and turned to other gods. Even the heroes of Scripture failed to satisfy God's standard: Abraham had a child by his wife's servant because they didn't understand how God would provide them a promised heir, Moses was not able to enter the Promised Land because of his disobedience, and David had a man killed to cover up his adultery. In Hosea we are given a comparison between Israel's unfaithfulness to God and the infidelity of an adulterous wife. I must recognize that I am no better than these. I am Israel. I am Gomer. I have offended a most holy God. What can I do to fulfill what He requires? Nothing. Yet He has loved me.
I've written before about the love that Christ showed me while I was still His enemy (here), but in case you don't want to go back and read it, let me just recap. John 15 says, "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends." We recognize that this is what Christ did for us. He laid down his life for us, showing us the greatest, most perfect love that one could ever have for another. Yet in Romans 5, Paul writes, "For one would hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." When we were still God's enemies Christ showed us the greatest love by laying down His life on our behalf, by taking our place, becoming our substitute. God has hated my sin, but has loved me with such a love as to send His Son to pay the debt that I owe for my offense. So what does that mean for me now?
It is because of God's love for me that I can love others. I hate the evil I see in the world. I hate the things I see on the news. It breaks my heart to think of the lives lost in the Newtown shooting or at the Boston Marathon or the stabbings at Lone Star College. So how do I hate the sin that these men committed and still love them as Christ has loved me? I think that it starts with recognizing that God has shown me great love and that He loves these men as well. I have to admit that I am easily inclined to hate people who commit horrendous, unthinkable crimes. But then I remember that these people have friends and family and neighbors and co-workers who love and care for them and I think about the emotions that they are going through knowing that their loved one has done something so unthinkable. I also must remember that these men need the Lord. God loves them. He loves them with perfect love just as He loves us. But they have not yet recognized His love for them. Lastly, I must pray for them. I pray that as they are prosecuted, the truth is presented and justice is given. However, I also pray for their souls, that they would recognize God's good favor and offer of salvation even towards the worst offenders. And I pray for their loved ones who are left emotionally torn between defending justice and desiring grace.
So do I defend the actions of these bad people? Absolutely not. I abhor them. However, I recognize that I, too have offended the highest standard of righteousness and yet have found favor and grace. It is because I have experienced love that I can love others, including these men, even though I cannot understand nor accept their actions.
In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. -1 John 4:10-11
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