Sunday, November 20, 2011
I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but being one of three siblings, my brothers and I very much fit the stereotype for birth order. And, being the oldest, that makes me the good, responsible one. That also makes me very competitive. I need to be good. Along with that also comes a great load of guilt when I find that I am not good, which, when examining myself in light of who God is, is an awful lot. I know that I said in my last post that it's been a difficult semester, and this is true. There have been a lot of changes and challenges, but there is another reason this semester has been difficult. I've been learning a lot about sin lately. Not only have I been more aware of sin in my life, but I've been reading a lot about God's response to sin, and I'm struggling to find the balance between guilt and conviction.
I've been reading through Romans and Hosea, which is so cool. Doing so, I have learned a lot about the gospel. I've also finished reading 2 Kings, which has also fit in well with what I've been learning. So, really for my own benefit, I would like to just simply go through what I've been reading and learning. So, here we go!
Let's start in Hosea, since this one is taking me a lot to grasp, and I know that I still don't have a great hold on it. Lord, please give me understanding for Your Word. I really just want to go through the first two chapters right now. A brief summary of the story of Hosea: This story takes place after Israel and Judah have split into two nations. At this time, Hezekiah is king of Judah (He's an awesome guy, and you should read his story if you're unfamiliar with it) and Jeroboam (the second, I believe) is king of Israel (He's not a good guy at all). God calls Hosea to marry a prostitute, Gomer, in order to mirror His relationship with the nation of Israel. In chapter one, Gomer has three children, which God tells Hosea to name specifically to prophesy His judgement on Israel for their disobedience. The first child is named 'Jezreel', which goes back to when Jehu killed Jezebel and Ahab's sons. The second child, a girl, is called 'Lo-Ruhamah', which means 'No Mercy', or 'Not Loved'. The third child was named 'Lo-Ammi', which means 'Not My People'. God uses the names of Hosea's children to reflect His relation to Israel, saying "I will no longer have mercy on the house of Israel" (v.6) and "you are not My people, and I will not be your God" (v. 9). God had no tolerance for the sin of the nation of Israel. Just like Gomer was unfaithful to her husband, so Israel was unfaithful to her true Lover. In chapter 2, God says of Israel, "she is not My wife, nor am I her Husband!" (v. 2). It is a harsh picture to think that my sin is adulterous in my relationship with God. I am being unfaithful to Him. I think that a lot of times we lean on the fact that we are human and so we are going to mess up. This is true, but we use that truth as an excuse a lot of times for our unfaithfulness instead of being broken over it. Yet, when I truly consider my offense, I am brought low before a holy, perfect God. And yet, He is gracious.
God was removing His mercy from Israel so that she, as a nation, would realize that she could not make it on her own. Verse 7 says, "She will chase her lovers, but not overtake them; yes, she will seek them, but not find them. Then she will say, 'I will go and return to my first husband, for then it was better for me than now.'" Later in the chapter, God says, "Therefore, behold, I will allure her, will bring her into the wilderness, and speak comfort to her. I will give her vineyards from there, and the Valley of Achor as a door of hope; she shall sing there, as in the days of her youth, as in the day when she came up from the land of Egypt." It's interesting to note that the wilderness, alluding to the 40 year wandering of Israel, and the Valley of Achor, or 'Valley of Troubles' were not pleasant places, and yet it is there that God chooses to woo His people. This passage continues with a beautiful picture of God redeeming His bride, but I want to jump to the last verse of the chapter. God finishes His message of redemption by saying, "I will have mercy on her who had not obtained mercy (the word 'Lo-Ruhamah')... I will say to those who were not my people ('Lo-Ammi') 'You are my people!' and they shall say, 'You are my God!'" Amen.
Jumping over to Romans, I want to look at chapter six. Not only have I recently been convicted of my apparent sin, but also of my own disregard (I think that's the word I mean) for God's grace. I just want to quote Romans 6:1-11. It says, "What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin so that grace may abound? Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it? Or do you not know that as many of us as were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death? Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father even so we also should walk in newness of life. For if we have been united together in the likeness of His death, certainly we also shall be in the likeness of His resurrection, knowing this, that our old man was crucified with Him, that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves of sin. For he who has died has been freed from sin. Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with His, knowing that Christ, ahving been raised from the dead, dies no more. Death no longer has dominion over Him. For the death that He died, He died to sin once for all; but the life that He lives, He lives to God. Likewise, you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord." Wooh. What a promise. What a gospel. Sin is dead. There should be no return to it. I'm reminded of the Proverb that says, "As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool repeats his folly."
Lastly, I want to look at the story of Josiah. Josiah was king of Judah. While reading through 2 Kings, when a new king is introduced, it usually says one of two things. Either it says, "he did evil in the sight of the Lord," or it says, "he did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, but the high places were not removed". Then we come to Josiah in chapter 22. Josiah was a good king and did what was right in the sight of God. During his reign, the book of the law was found. The priest brought it to the king and read it to him. Josiah was broken over hearing what God required that the people had failed to follow. Josiah removed every inch of pagan worship from the land. he tore down the high places, he burned the chariots, and got rid of the horses. It even says that the people observed Passover as it had not been observed since before the time of the judges. Josiah recognized the sin of his nation and had the right reaction. He was broken over it and he did everything in his power to remove any temptation toward it. He was very serious about his relationship with God as well as his nation's relationship with Him.
I know I've been quite long-winded, and there are no picutres or video clips, and I'm so sorry if you've read through all of this and still haven't gotten anything out of it. Like I said, this post is more for my own benefit as I continue to work through what I am learning. I am still struggling with guilt versus conviction. I am extremely humbled by the grace that I continue to receive (humbled doesn't even begin to cover what I am). I am still battling against sin in my own life as I struggle to spur others in growth as well. I am broken and pleading for supernatural strength and perseverence to continue to run toward the One who knows all and sees all and yet accepts me as I am, not wanting to keep me that way. God, Thank You for Your patience.
I've been reading through Romans and Hosea, which is so cool. Doing so, I have learned a lot about the gospel. I've also finished reading 2 Kings, which has also fit in well with what I've been learning. So, really for my own benefit, I would like to just simply go through what I've been reading and learning. So, here we go!
Let's start in Hosea, since this one is taking me a lot to grasp, and I know that I still don't have a great hold on it. Lord, please give me understanding for Your Word. I really just want to go through the first two chapters right now. A brief summary of the story of Hosea: This story takes place after Israel and Judah have split into two nations. At this time, Hezekiah is king of Judah (He's an awesome guy, and you should read his story if you're unfamiliar with it) and Jeroboam (the second, I believe) is king of Israel (He's not a good guy at all). God calls Hosea to marry a prostitute, Gomer, in order to mirror His relationship with the nation of Israel. In chapter one, Gomer has three children, which God tells Hosea to name specifically to prophesy His judgement on Israel for their disobedience. The first child is named 'Jezreel', which goes back to when Jehu killed Jezebel and Ahab's sons. The second child, a girl, is called 'Lo-Ruhamah', which means 'No Mercy', or 'Not Loved'. The third child was named 'Lo-Ammi', which means 'Not My People'. God uses the names of Hosea's children to reflect His relation to Israel, saying "I will no longer have mercy on the house of Israel" (v.6) and "you are not My people, and I will not be your God" (v. 9). God had no tolerance for the sin of the nation of Israel. Just like Gomer was unfaithful to her husband, so Israel was unfaithful to her true Lover. In chapter 2, God says of Israel, "she is not My wife, nor am I her Husband!" (v. 2). It is a harsh picture to think that my sin is adulterous in my relationship with God. I am being unfaithful to Him. I think that a lot of times we lean on the fact that we are human and so we are going to mess up. This is true, but we use that truth as an excuse a lot of times for our unfaithfulness instead of being broken over it. Yet, when I truly consider my offense, I am brought low before a holy, perfect God. And yet, He is gracious.
God was removing His mercy from Israel so that she, as a nation, would realize that she could not make it on her own. Verse 7 says, "She will chase her lovers, but not overtake them; yes, she will seek them, but not find them. Then she will say, 'I will go and return to my first husband, for then it was better for me than now.'" Later in the chapter, God says, "Therefore, behold, I will allure her, will bring her into the wilderness, and speak comfort to her. I will give her vineyards from there, and the Valley of Achor as a door of hope; she shall sing there, as in the days of her youth, as in the day when she came up from the land of Egypt." It's interesting to note that the wilderness, alluding to the 40 year wandering of Israel, and the Valley of Achor, or 'Valley of Troubles' were not pleasant places, and yet it is there that God chooses to woo His people. This passage continues with a beautiful picture of God redeeming His bride, but I want to jump to the last verse of the chapter. God finishes His message of redemption by saying, "I will have mercy on her who had not obtained mercy (the word 'Lo-Ruhamah')... I will say to those who were not my people ('Lo-Ammi') 'You are my people!' and they shall say, 'You are my God!'" Amen.
Jumping over to Romans, I want to look at chapter six. Not only have I recently been convicted of my apparent sin, but also of my own disregard (I think that's the word I mean) for God's grace. I just want to quote Romans 6:1-11. It says, "What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin so that grace may abound? Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it? Or do you not know that as many of us as were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death? Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father even so we also should walk in newness of life. For if we have been united together in the likeness of His death, certainly we also shall be in the likeness of His resurrection, knowing this, that our old man was crucified with Him, that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves of sin. For he who has died has been freed from sin. Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with His, knowing that Christ, ahving been raised from the dead, dies no more. Death no longer has dominion over Him. For the death that He died, He died to sin once for all; but the life that He lives, He lives to God. Likewise, you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord." Wooh. What a promise. What a gospel. Sin is dead. There should be no return to it. I'm reminded of the Proverb that says, "As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool repeats his folly."
Lastly, I want to look at the story of Josiah. Josiah was king of Judah. While reading through 2 Kings, when a new king is introduced, it usually says one of two things. Either it says, "he did evil in the sight of the Lord," or it says, "he did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, but the high places were not removed". Then we come to Josiah in chapter 22. Josiah was a good king and did what was right in the sight of God. During his reign, the book of the law was found. The priest brought it to the king and read it to him. Josiah was broken over hearing what God required that the people had failed to follow. Josiah removed every inch of pagan worship from the land. he tore down the high places, he burned the chariots, and got rid of the horses. It even says that the people observed Passover as it had not been observed since before the time of the judges. Josiah recognized the sin of his nation and had the right reaction. He was broken over it and he did everything in his power to remove any temptation toward it. He was very serious about his relationship with God as well as his nation's relationship with Him.
I know I've been quite long-winded, and there are no picutres or video clips, and I'm so sorry if you've read through all of this and still haven't gotten anything out of it. Like I said, this post is more for my own benefit as I continue to work through what I am learning. I am still struggling with guilt versus conviction. I am extremely humbled by the grace that I continue to receive (humbled doesn't even begin to cover what I am). I am still battling against sin in my own life as I struggle to spur others in growth as well. I am broken and pleading for supernatural strength and perseverence to continue to run toward the One who knows all and sees all and yet accepts me as I am, not wanting to keep me that way. God, Thank You for Your patience.
Friday, October 28, 2011
When my brothers and I were little, we used to spin each other around in the large office chair we have sitting in front of our computer desk. (To be honest, sometimes I still spin around in it.) Sometimes we would play a game and close our eyes as we got spun around in the chair. When we felt the chair stop, we had to guess which direction we were facing in the room. Other times, it was fun just to keep our eyes open and see all of the objects of the room become distorted and blurry as we spun faster and faster. Even after we stopped, it took a few seconds for our eyes to re-orient themselves to the way the room looked before we started going in circles.
This is how I feel right now. This fall semester has brought on a lot of new challenges- some expected, some unexpected. Dealing with all of these new challenges has been a dizzying experience, and though I know that it is just a season and I will adjust and I will learn, right now, I'm just dizzy. Every once in awhile I see a blurry form of what I think things are supposed to look like, but as soon as I see it, it's gone and I'm still spinning. But I can't stop this chair. When I was little and I began feeling a little nauseous, I could tell my brothers, "OK, stop!" and I could put my feet down or stick my arm out and slow myself down to a halt. But there is no "slow-down" button on life. (That's fortune cookie gold right there!) Thus, here lies my struggle. I am dizzy and confused and have no idea what in the world I'm doing or even what things are supposed to look like. I just want to be able to see straight. I wish that I could say that "this is what I've been through, and this is what God has taught me," because that's usually what I write about. But I'm not in that stage right now. I'm still in the midst of the "going through" stage. I'm waiting for what He has to say to me through His word, because I know that He is faithful, even when all I see of Him is a glimpse of a fuzzy, disfigured form as I dizzily spin around.
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| I don't know this child, I just thought you needed a visual representation of my childhood experience. |
Monday, August 22, 2011
Jeremiah 18:1-6 says this:
This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the Lord: "Go down to the potter's house, and there I will give you my message." So I went down to the potter's house, and I saw him working at the wheel. But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him. Then the word of the Lord came to me: "O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter does?" declares the Lord. "Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel.
As this passage continues, God promised Jeremiah that if a people which He proclaimed evil for turned away, He would build them up. But, if a people whom He proclaimed good for turned to evil, He would bring them down. God let Jeremiah know that he was planning disaster and devastation for Judah. But, God also sent Jeremiah with a plea, saying "Return now every one from his evil way, and make your ways and your doings good" (18:11, NKJV).
My brother brought this passage to my attention this summer while we were talking about the gospel and what it really means for us to come to God. I've learned a lot about the gospel this summer, what it is, and what it isn't. Working with university students at the beginning of the summer, it was difficult to explain in simple English what my heart yearned for them to understand without taking away from the message. With the camp kids the rest of the summer, there was a similar issue of finding a balance between speaking at the level of a ten year old (which, honestly, is higher than I thought it would be), and explaining the message of the gospel. Most kids have an understanding of "believe in Jesus, pray a special prayer, and you can go to heaven and not 'the bad place' when you die." The majority of them, however, have no clue what it actually means to come before a holy God recognizing your own wickedness and choose to surrender that self to Him and live in submissive grace.
I have absolutely no experience with a pottery wheel, but I've seen people use one, and I think it's fascinating how they know that by placing pressure in a certain portion of the clay, they can form a unique piece of pottery. Sometimes, when the pot doesn't turn out the way that the potter wants it or turns lopsided, he smooshes it back down into a lump again and starts over. This is what Jeremiah witnessed when he went to potter's house. This visual image represents not only God's message to the nation of Judah at the time that it was first spoken to Jeremiah, but it also applies to our approach to God as well. We are bad, lopsided pots who need to be reformed and reshaped. In order for this to happen, though, we have to be smashed down to just a simple lump of clay. Joel 2 begins talking about the day of the Lord. It warns the people of a day of great wrath and judgement, when God's army will come and destroy the wicked. Then, in verses 12 and 13 it says:
"Now therefore," says the Lord, "turn to Me with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning." So rend your heart, and not your garments; return to the Lord your God, for He is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness; and He relents from doing harm."
Just like the pot on the wheel must be humbled, so our hearts must be broken in repentance at God's feet before He can restore us into a better vessel. God doesn't want an outward appearance of repentance, like torn clothes or an empty prayer. He wants our hearts to be rent and our lives to be surrendered so that He can not only smoosh us down to nothing, but build us up into something beautiful that we could never be on our own. What an amazing thought that I have just began to process.
Just a note on the end of my summer:
I LOVED my job this summer. To be honest, I was not excited about working at the camp that I did. I had wanted to stay at home and find a normal job to earn some money, but I am so glad that God brought me to the place He did. I loved getting to know the students that I worked with as well as the other counselors. In fact, I balled like a baby driving home from my last weekend at camp, thinking that some of these kids I may never see again. Going into this school year is not at all what I expected it to be when I left in the spring. But I have already seen God do some great things, and I am excited to see how He continues to lay this year out before me. I am so undeserving yet so blessed to be where I am at, and I just hope that I can stay faithful to what He has called me to. I must resolve to continue to seek His face and search His heart so that by that I can know what my own heart must be. Then I know He will be faithful to take care of the rest!
This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the Lord: "Go down to the potter's house, and there I will give you my message." So I went down to the potter's house, and I saw him working at the wheel. But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him. Then the word of the Lord came to me: "O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter does?" declares the Lord. "Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel.
As this passage continues, God promised Jeremiah that if a people which He proclaimed evil for turned away, He would build them up. But, if a people whom He proclaimed good for turned to evil, He would bring them down. God let Jeremiah know that he was planning disaster and devastation for Judah. But, God also sent Jeremiah with a plea, saying "Return now every one from his evil way, and make your ways and your doings good" (18:11, NKJV).
My brother brought this passage to my attention this summer while we were talking about the gospel and what it really means for us to come to God. I've learned a lot about the gospel this summer, what it is, and what it isn't. Working with university students at the beginning of the summer, it was difficult to explain in simple English what my heart yearned for them to understand without taking away from the message. With the camp kids the rest of the summer, there was a similar issue of finding a balance between speaking at the level of a ten year old (which, honestly, is higher than I thought it would be), and explaining the message of the gospel. Most kids have an understanding of "believe in Jesus, pray a special prayer, and you can go to heaven and not 'the bad place' when you die." The majority of them, however, have no clue what it actually means to come before a holy God recognizing your own wickedness and choose to surrender that self to Him and live in submissive grace.
"Now therefore," says the Lord, "turn to Me with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning." So rend your heart, and not your garments; return to the Lord your God, for He is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness; and He relents from doing harm."
Just like the pot on the wheel must be humbled, so our hearts must be broken in repentance at God's feet before He can restore us into a better vessel. God doesn't want an outward appearance of repentance, like torn clothes or an empty prayer. He wants our hearts to be rent and our lives to be surrendered so that He can not only smoosh us down to nothing, but build us up into something beautiful that we could never be on our own. What an amazing thought that I have just began to process.
Just a note on the end of my summer:
I LOVED my job this summer. To be honest, I was not excited about working at the camp that I did. I had wanted to stay at home and find a normal job to earn some money, but I am so glad that God brought me to the place He did. I loved getting to know the students that I worked with as well as the other counselors. In fact, I balled like a baby driving home from my last weekend at camp, thinking that some of these kids I may never see again. Going into this school year is not at all what I expected it to be when I left in the spring. But I have already seen God do some great things, and I am excited to see how He continues to lay this year out before me. I am so undeserving yet so blessed to be where I am at, and I just hope that I can stay faithful to what He has called me to. I must resolve to continue to seek His face and search His heart so that by that I can know what my own heart must be. Then I know He will be faithful to take care of the rest!
Friday, July 8, 2011
I love this song. I don't know many people who don't. This song has actually been quite popular this summer at camp. You know, it's been a difficult couple of weeks. Good and rewarding, but also challenging. It's certainly been a test in leadership, and I've definitely learned the importance of taking initiative, but I've also realized the fact that I can't do everything by myself. I go to bed every night exhausted, and come home every weekend worn out and sore and not wanting to move from the couch. That's the difficult part of the past two weeks, but the good and rewarding part is getting to know some amazing people! I get to work with some awesome counselors, one of them being my best friend:
One night this past week, we were singing the song "How He Loves," and I was spending some sweet time with Jesus and reflecting on the extent His love for me goes. It goes much farther than I can comprehend, which is crazy, because, well, I'm... me! What would make the Creator of the entire universe, the God with no beginning and no end send His Son, part of His being, to die a dirty and disgraceful death for me!? Crazy, insane love that I cannot fathom. Oh, how He loves us! He loves us to the point of death! I wonder what it was like for Jesus at the Garden of Gethsemane that night He knew He was going to be arrested. I mean, we get glimpses of His sorrow in the gospels, but I wonder what it was like beyond the description that words can give. I am sure that it was beyond what any man could bear. And yet, even in His agony, Christ's prayer to His Father was, "nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done" (Luke 22:42). Jesus knew the purpose for which He came to this world. It wasn't for Himself. It was to be a blessing to "all the peoples on earth" (Gen. 12:3). He came and He lived and He died out of love for us. Oh, how He loves us! So, as we were singing this song, I was telling God how tired I am and how much I just need some encouragement and strength from Him, and reflecting on His incomprehensible love, and He reminded me once again, this work is not about me. Jesus came to earth to carry the weight of the world's sins to death. He knew this and He did it because He loves us that much. I am not Christ, but I have been called to serve a people for a time. I know this is my purpose for the summer. I may feel tired and I may not desire to fulfill everything that is required of me, but I will do so out of love for the people I am serving and for my God who loves me first.
This past week, I was looking for a few verses to encourage the team that I am working with this summer, and I loved the words of Paul to the church in Corinth when he says, "Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. Give no offense, whether to the Jews or to the Greeks or to the church of God, just as I also please all men in all things, not seeking my own profit, but the profit of many, that they may be saved" (1Corinthians 10:31-33). I also appreciated what commentary my footnotes had to say about this passage: "Doing all to the glory of God involves encouraging fellow Christians and spreading the good news about Christ. Paul accomplished this by refusing to offend Jews, Greeks, or the church of God, even if it meant restricting his freedom. Like Christ, Paul did not seek his own way or do things for his own pleasure; instead, he desired to help others. This should be our desire as well" (NKJV Nelson Study Bible). It was just one more reminder that I am not here for me. I am here because God has called me to serve here, and I am to fulfill my calling out of love for Him and love for His people, even when it means restricting my freedom. Please pray that God continues to reveal His love to the students that come through camp this summer as well as to those of us who are working here for the next three weeks.
I've also made some great friends with some awesome kids:
I've seen God do some great things, both in the lives of the students I've gotten to know and in my own life. I love what I'm getting to do this summer, and I love the people I get to do it with. But, sometimes I just want to stop working, and spend some time by myself in a quiet, air conditioned room, maybe take a long nap, and not have to worry about bugs or kids or schedules. There are times that I don't want to clean up the bathroom or watch the kids at the lake for two hours or sit with a child at 3 in the morning because she's homesick. There are plenty of times I don't want to do plenty of things. Yet, I have to keep reminding myself that this work is not about me. I may not want to do these things, but I do them because I LOVE the people I get to do them for.
One night this past week, we were singing the song "How He Loves," and I was spending some sweet time with Jesus and reflecting on the extent His love for me goes. It goes much farther than I can comprehend, which is crazy, because, well, I'm... me! What would make the Creator of the entire universe, the God with no beginning and no end send His Son, part of His being, to die a dirty and disgraceful death for me!? Crazy, insane love that I cannot fathom. Oh, how He loves us! He loves us to the point of death! I wonder what it was like for Jesus at the Garden of Gethsemane that night He knew He was going to be arrested. I mean, we get glimpses of His sorrow in the gospels, but I wonder what it was like beyond the description that words can give. I am sure that it was beyond what any man could bear. And yet, even in His agony, Christ's prayer to His Father was, "nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done" (Luke 22:42). Jesus knew the purpose for which He came to this world. It wasn't for Himself. It was to be a blessing to "all the peoples on earth" (Gen. 12:3). He came and He lived and He died out of love for us. Oh, how He loves us! So, as we were singing this song, I was telling God how tired I am and how much I just need some encouragement and strength from Him, and reflecting on His incomprehensible love, and He reminded me once again, this work is not about me. Jesus came to earth to carry the weight of the world's sins to death. He knew this and He did it because He loves us that much. I am not Christ, but I have been called to serve a people for a time. I know this is my purpose for the summer. I may feel tired and I may not desire to fulfill everything that is required of me, but I will do so out of love for the people I am serving and for my God who loves me first.
This past week, I was looking for a few verses to encourage the team that I am working with this summer, and I loved the words of Paul to the church in Corinth when he says, "Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. Give no offense, whether to the Jews or to the Greeks or to the church of God, just as I also please all men in all things, not seeking my own profit, but the profit of many, that they may be saved" (1Corinthians 10:31-33). I also appreciated what commentary my footnotes had to say about this passage: "Doing all to the glory of God involves encouraging fellow Christians and spreading the good news about Christ. Paul accomplished this by refusing to offend Jews, Greeks, or the church of God, even if it meant restricting his freedom. Like Christ, Paul did not seek his own way or do things for his own pleasure; instead, he desired to help others. This should be our desire as well" (NKJV Nelson Study Bible). It was just one more reminder that I am not here for me. I am here because God has called me to serve here, and I am to fulfill my calling out of love for Him and love for His people, even when it means restricting my freedom. Please pray that God continues to reveal His love to the students that come through camp this summer as well as to those of us who are working here for the next three weeks.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
It has been three weeks since I've gotten back from my trip in Southeast Asia, and I miss everyone terribly. I've been reading through 1 Kings, and since being back, I have loved reading about the testimony of Elijah and the faith that he showed. It has been really exciting to read how God worked through him, and it's also been challenging to my own relationship with God. In fact, I was reviewing my prayer journal since I've been back, and I said to God, "I desire to trust You more." Well, these past three weeks have certainly been a trial in trust.
This summer I am working at a camp. In fact, I'm working at the same rustic, middle-of-nowhere camp that I worked at two summers ago. Since the camp is fairly close to home, I've decided to come home every weekend. The first week of work was "orientation." As a team of counselors, we spent the week cleaning the camp and brainstorming ideas for the summer. When I got back home Friday, I did not expect to have the weekend that I did. I got some bad news Friday evening that I was not expecting at all. I was so shocked and confused, not just about the news I received, but also about the way that I received it, that I just broke down. In fact, I was broken down all weekend, and I honestly didn't want to go back to camp this past week. I knew that I was going to be counted on to interact with a lot of kids, and I just wanted to be alone. I am so glad I was where I was this week, though.
This week, the kids began asking each other if they could bite each others' noses. It looks as ridiculous as it sounds, but apparently, it's "the ultimate question of trust." I thought about this as I reflected on the frustration of this still unresolved situation from the weekend before. In the frustration of my current circumstances to God, and the message I keep hearing back is, "Trust me. I know what I am doing. I have always known." It's a wonderful message, but it is so difficult to accept when you're upset. The campers were just playing a silly game that they made up, and there are a lot of other things more difficult to trust others with than their teeth around your schnoz, but the idea of trust remains. As silly as it sounds, you do not know if the person who is about to bite your nose is going to hurt you or not... but they know what they're doing. I have no idea what is coming in the future or how this situation is going to end up, but I do know that God knows what He's doing better than I know what's coming. I am learning to trust Him, just as I told Him I desire to do. It is by no means easy or even pleasant right now, but I also have hope in the future because I know He cares for me, even when I am frustrated and angry and don't want to trust Him.
God,
Thank You for listening to me, even when it is not what I expect to hear in return. I do not like the uncertainty of the situation I am in right now, but I am learning that You have known since before the beginning of time where I would be right now and where I will be in the future. Thank You for caring about the little worries that I have, and for desiring the best for me, even in those moments. I am sorry for not trusting You, but I truly do desire to trust You more. Please continue to walk me through the lessons You are teaching me. Thank You for Your patience. I love You.
This summer I am working at a camp. In fact, I'm working at the same rustic, middle-of-nowhere camp that I worked at two summers ago. Since the camp is fairly close to home, I've decided to come home every weekend. The first week of work was "orientation." As a team of counselors, we spent the week cleaning the camp and brainstorming ideas for the summer. When I got back home Friday, I did not expect to have the weekend that I did. I got some bad news Friday evening that I was not expecting at all. I was so shocked and confused, not just about the news I received, but also about the way that I received it, that I just broke down. In fact, I was broken down all weekend, and I honestly didn't want to go back to camp this past week. I knew that I was going to be counted on to interact with a lot of kids, and I just wanted to be alone. I am so glad I was where I was this week, though.
God,
Thank You for listening to me, even when it is not what I expect to hear in return. I do not like the uncertainty of the situation I am in right now, but I am learning that You have known since before the beginning of time where I would be right now and where I will be in the future. Thank You for caring about the little worries that I have, and for desiring the best for me, even in those moments. I am sorry for not trusting You, but I truly do desire to trust You more. Please continue to walk me through the lessons You are teaching me. Thank You for Your patience. I love You.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
I am back from Southeast Asia! Well, I've been back home for over a week now, but after a few days of combating the urge to go to sleep at 3:00 pm and wake up at 4:30am, my body is back to its normal routine. My mind, though, is still flooding with memories of the culture and conversations that my team and I experienced for just two short weeks. Being back home makes it all seem surreal almost.
I was so privileged to work with a great team of awesome people...
... try some great new food...
... gain some new experiences...
... and make some new friends.
I had a great time in Southeast Asia. But more valuable than all of the new experiences I now have, is the privilege of seeing God work in an area of the world that is numb to any religious belief. I wish that I could somehow just download everything I remember from my trip onto my computer one so that I could keep track of it all and two so that I could share them with everyone, because there is just so much that I could share. My team and I spent a lot of time in English classrooms in the local universities spending time with students and learning about their culture while we shared about ours. We learned a lot about local foods and festivals and we shared a lot about our hobbies and our interests as American college students. We were asked if we watch Desperate Housewives and Gossip Girl or listened to Lady Gaga as well as if we were familiar with any of their music or movies. Though there were certainly cultural differences to be found, I think one of the neatest things to realize and to share with the students is how alike we are. We like music and movies. We like to have fun with our friends and to be silly. We also understand what it means to be confused about our future and to have the "pressures" and "stresses" (as students there called it) of life. Unfortunately, unlike many of the students we met and talked with, we know Someone that we are able to turn to in those times of stress and pressure.
Before going on this trip, I think I would have said (or I probably did say) that I did not know what to expect. And part of that is true. But there were certainly things that I did expect from this experience. I have shared before the embarrassing fact that speaking about my faith does not come easily to me. One thing I expected was to be challenged in how I express what Christ has done in my life with others. I think, though, generally, I expected to learn a whole lot and to do a whole lot, which in a way, I guess I did. But really, I saw God do a lot more than I did. During our trip, I had a chance to read through scripture and pray with my lovely roommate in the mornings.
It was certainly some sweet, encouraging time that I cherished with her and with our great God and gracious Savior. One passage that we read I think sums up perfectly the message of the trip that I found most humbling and most encouraging: 1 Corinthians 3:5-7 says, "So what is Apollos? And what is Paul? They are servants through whom you believed, and each has the role the Lord has given. I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. So then neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth." I may have left America thinking about all the work that I was going to do, but I came back realizing how much God had done, even in the short time that my team was there, and how blessed I was to be a part of it. The opportunities we had to share why we behave the way we do, why we don't go to parties on the weekend, or what we think about controversial issues, how many people in America believe in God or even how we deal with sad times were more numerous than we expected. Some of us were given very direct questions about scripture and Christian beliefs. Some of us had the opportunity to share the gospel more than once, and some of us were able to see God grow out of that. Whether we saw fruit from our labor or not, we know that it is not us who brings growth, but God. We were called to be faithful in service to Him. This is a humbling fact but also encouraging to know that I am not in control and that I don't have to try to be. I don't have to force Jesus into a conversation and I don't have to pry for a spiritual response. I am called to be faithful and genuine and honest about who I am in Him. I can't help but express that. And as I do, perhaps He will choose to work in someone's heart. I had a great experience overseas, and I thoroughly enjoyed the time that I had with my fellow teammates as well as with the students and people that we met. It was a tiring experience, and trying at times, but I trust that God is still working in that place, even though our team is gone. I am glad to be back home and to comfortable living, though my heart still aches for the people back in SE Asia. But I am excited to hear how the God who worked so wonderfully in my life that I must share works in the lives of the students that I am now able to call friends. Mm. He certainly is good.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Such is the wisdom of Uncle Ben to his nephew, Peter Parker (aka Spider-Man).
My friend and I were talking this past week about some similar experiences we have been through and some things we have learned from those experiences, and she asked me, "Would you have done it again if you had the choice?" Whether she knew it or not, that was a very challenging question. I do not enjoy all of the experiences that I have had, nor will I enjoy all of the things I have yet to experience. Not all of my un-enjoyable experiences are bad, but they certainly are challenging, and I find myself coming out of them knowing more than I did before, whether I wanted to or not. Yet, I am now responsible for what I know. A toddler is not expected to do complex math equations because he is probably still learning how to count. However, as this toddler gets older and is taught algebra and geometry and eventually calculus, he is then responsible for completing those more difficult assignments because he now has the knowledge to do so. In the same way, though sometimes I wish I could have stayed ignorant to many things, I have more knowledge than I previously did and I am now responsible for doing what should be done with that knowledge. This may be knowing how to complete a homework assignment or how to balance a check book. It also may be the knowledge of someone's need or of a spiritual truth. All of these things I am responsible for once I become knowledgeable about them.
Going on this trip to Southeast Asia in just over 15 days is a huge wake up call to what I am responsible for: the gospel of Christ. To be honest, I am not a bold person. I enjoy sitting silently in class and listening to other people talk. I am not an eloquent speaker. My brain has trouble processing information quickly (you think I'm being sarcastic, but I'm not), so words don't flow like they should- at least not the right ones. To be even more honest, of all things that I am frightened to talk about, talking about Christ to people who don't know Him is probably the most frightening. I wish it was not the truth, but often when I have the chance to say something, I keep my mouth closed instead. I know the truth of Christ. It has drastically changed my life, and it continues to change my life! It gives me purpose! It gives me hope! It gives me joy and peace! It fulfills me and sustains me! Not only have I experienced salvation, but I know the need of others for salvation, and I am responsible for that knowledge as well. I am so excited to get on that plane in just a few weeks and travel across the world and get to work with such an awesome team of people and get to meet new people and experience a new culture, and I truly am excited about the opportunity to see God work. But I must remind myself of the knowledge (and the power) that I am responsible for, whether at school, at home, or in a foreign country.
God, Forgive me for not taking my responsibility more seriously. Thank you for allowing me to experience Your grace. Please be with my team and me as we travel in just a few weeks. Give us the boldness to share Your truth with the people we build relationships there. Provide us with moments to share how You have changed our lives, and provide us with the exact words to say in those moments. I trust You.
My friend and I were talking this past week about some similar experiences we have been through and some things we have learned from those experiences, and she asked me, "Would you have done it again if you had the choice?" Whether she knew it or not, that was a very challenging question. I do not enjoy all of the experiences that I have had, nor will I enjoy all of the things I have yet to experience. Not all of my un-enjoyable experiences are bad, but they certainly are challenging, and I find myself coming out of them knowing more than I did before, whether I wanted to or not. Yet, I am now responsible for what I know. A toddler is not expected to do complex math equations because he is probably still learning how to count. However, as this toddler gets older and is taught algebra and geometry and eventually calculus, he is then responsible for completing those more difficult assignments because he now has the knowledge to do so. In the same way, though sometimes I wish I could have stayed ignorant to many things, I have more knowledge than I previously did and I am now responsible for doing what should be done with that knowledge. This may be knowing how to complete a homework assignment or how to balance a check book. It also may be the knowledge of someone's need or of a spiritual truth. All of these things I am responsible for once I become knowledgeable about them.Going on this trip to Southeast Asia in just over 15 days is a huge wake up call to what I am responsible for: the gospel of Christ. To be honest, I am not a bold person. I enjoy sitting silently in class and listening to other people talk. I am not an eloquent speaker. My brain has trouble processing information quickly (you think I'm being sarcastic, but I'm not), so words don't flow like they should- at least not the right ones. To be even more honest, of all things that I am frightened to talk about, talking about Christ to people who don't know Him is probably the most frightening. I wish it was not the truth, but often when I have the chance to say something, I keep my mouth closed instead. I know the truth of Christ. It has drastically changed my life, and it continues to change my life! It gives me purpose! It gives me hope! It gives me joy and peace! It fulfills me and sustains me! Not only have I experienced salvation, but I know the need of others for salvation, and I am responsible for that knowledge as well. I am so excited to get on that plane in just a few weeks and travel across the world and get to work with such an awesome team of people and get to meet new people and experience a new culture, and I truly am excited about the opportunity to see God work. But I must remind myself of the knowledge (and the power) that I am responsible for, whether at school, at home, or in a foreign country.
God, Forgive me for not taking my responsibility more seriously. Thank you for allowing me to experience Your grace. Please be with my team and me as we travel in just a few weeks. Give us the boldness to share Your truth with the people we build relationships there. Provide us with moments to share how You have changed our lives, and provide us with the exact words to say in those moments. I trust You.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Hello, everyone! I just wanted to take a little time to update you as to how I'm doing financially! I will be leaving for my trip in just over a month, and of right now, I have raised $3,216! It is incredible to think of how all of that money has come in! I was talking to a friend a couple of weeks ago, saying that I signed up for this trip already with an idea of how God was going to provide the finances, and though He definately has provided, it certainly hasn't been in the way that I thought it would be. In fact, there was a lot of humbling on my part throughout this whole process, but now that the end is in sight, it is exciting to see how it has all come together! Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who has been supporting me, not only financially, but through prayer as well! I haven't reached the goal yet, though! With just over a month until the trip, I still have to raise just over $400. If you would like to be a part of supporting my team and I as we build relationships with the people of Southeast Asia, please visit the "Support Southeast Asia" page. Thank you again for all of your support, whether through giving money, through prayer, or even by visiting this blog! I really do appreciate all of it!
Friday, March 25, 2011
Perhaps it makes me a little bit of a dork, but I consider myself pretty youtube savvy. I just really like watching short videos. It's about all my attention span can handle. However, I had never seen this video until one of my friends showed it to me last night:
Seriously? This is an embarrassment to every sane person in the state of North Carolina... and the entire world. Honestly, it's hard not to laugh at some of the things these people do and say. Yet, at the same time, watching this video makes me a little angry. There are people DYING everywhere around the world! People- PEOPLE- are starving, they are being trafficked and sold into slavery (domestic labor and sexual). There are children being taken out of their homes to become soldiers. There are people in the world who experience more hurt and pain in one day than I could ever imagine experiencing in a lifetime. And these activists are screaming and wailing about cutting down trees and the life of rocks! Maybe I am just ignorant and inexperienced, but that is just ridiculous. Watching this video, though, got me thinking: what if Christians were that passionate about the things that really DO matter?
I was studying the word passion recently because it is a topic that has come up a lot this semester, and I learned that though it is defined today as "strong and barely controllable emotion," (OED) it comes from the Latin word 'pati' meaning "to suffer". It's kind of a hard concept for me to grasp, and I don't think I have a complete handle on it yet- the idea of passion and suffering going together. Yet, watching this video, it is obvious that the passion and the suffering of these activitst, ridiculous though they may be, go hand-in-hand. So, watching this video, there were two questions that came to my mind:
Question One: What if we cried out to God with the same passion? What difference would that make in how we relate to God? What if we sought Him out with such yearning and burning in our hearts? Trees don't talk back. I know that's such a silly statement, but I think that these people were crying and screaming to the trees more fervently than I sometimes do to a great, holy, yet personal, active God.
Question Two: What if we were burdened for people like they were burdened? What impact would that make on the world around us? Something that I've learned about myself is that, generally, I have a passion for people. Yet, I struggle to have a passion for persons. What if my passion was to see lives saved like these people wanted to see the trees saved? What if I acted on such a passion? Once again, you are not likely to get a response from a tree or a rock, but people are an investment. What kind of response would that bring? I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want to be consumed in passion for God and for worshipping Him through sharing with others. I don't mean that I want to walk around screaming and crying all the time, but I do want to have a sense of burden for things of eternal significance that mimics their passion for things of less importance. I want to have a yearning to know God and a passion for people.
God, Refine me of the selfish desires of my heart, and fill me with a passion for You and for Your people.
Seriously? This is an embarrassment to every sane person in the state of North Carolina... and the entire world. Honestly, it's hard not to laugh at some of the things these people do and say. Yet, at the same time, watching this video makes me a little angry. There are people DYING everywhere around the world! People- PEOPLE- are starving, they are being trafficked and sold into slavery (domestic labor and sexual). There are children being taken out of their homes to become soldiers. There are people in the world who experience more hurt and pain in one day than I could ever imagine experiencing in a lifetime. And these activists are screaming and wailing about cutting down trees and the life of rocks! Maybe I am just ignorant and inexperienced, but that is just ridiculous. Watching this video, though, got me thinking: what if Christians were that passionate about the things that really DO matter?
I was studying the word passion recently because it is a topic that has come up a lot this semester, and I learned that though it is defined today as "strong and barely controllable emotion," (OED) it comes from the Latin word 'pati' meaning "to suffer". It's kind of a hard concept for me to grasp, and I don't think I have a complete handle on it yet- the idea of passion and suffering going together. Yet, watching this video, it is obvious that the passion and the suffering of these activitst, ridiculous though they may be, go hand-in-hand. So, watching this video, there were two questions that came to my mind:
Question One: What if we cried out to God with the same passion? What difference would that make in how we relate to God? What if we sought Him out with such yearning and burning in our hearts? Trees don't talk back. I know that's such a silly statement, but I think that these people were crying and screaming to the trees more fervently than I sometimes do to a great, holy, yet personal, active God.
Question Two: What if we were burdened for people like they were burdened? What impact would that make on the world around us? Something that I've learned about myself is that, generally, I have a passion for people. Yet, I struggle to have a passion for persons. What if my passion was to see lives saved like these people wanted to see the trees saved? What if I acted on such a passion? Once again, you are not likely to get a response from a tree or a rock, but people are an investment. What kind of response would that bring? I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want to be consumed in passion for God and for worshipping Him through sharing with others. I don't mean that I want to walk around screaming and crying all the time, but I do want to have a sense of burden for things of eternal significance that mimics their passion for things of less importance. I want to have a yearning to know God and a passion for people.
God, Refine me of the selfish desires of my heart, and fill me with a passion for You and for Your people.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Right now I'm reading through 2 Samuel. It's definitely a good book (it's part of the Bible, it has to be, right?). There's a lot of plot to follow, a lot of action and drama, and I'm really enjoying learning the history of Israel. However, 2 Samuel has also been very hard to read. Just recently I've read through the stories of David and Bathsheba and Uriah as well as Tamar and Amnon and Absalom, and those are not kind stories! In fact, just yesterday I began reading the story of Absalom's conspiracy against the king (his own father!) in chapter 15. I'm not finished reading the story, but basically, this is what I've gathered so far:
Absalom wants to become king, so every day he goes to the gate of the city and tells people coming in that there is no one to listen to their complaints, but that if he were king, he would make sure they were heard! He also tells his dad (King David) that he wants to go to Hebron to worship, but brings a whole lot of other men with him. Basically, all of the people love Absalom (verse 13), which forces David and his family to leave Jerusalem for safety. A bunch of people follow David that he tells to go back to the city, if only to stir up trouble for Absalom and to bring him news of what's going down in Jerusalem. Zadok the priest (does anyone else think of Handel's song when they hear Zadok's name? No? Just me? Ok, then. Moving on...) Zadok also came with David and the group of Levites carrying the ark of the covenant came as well. However, David told them to take the ark back to Jerusalem. In fact, here is what verses 25 and 26 say, "The king said to Zadok, 'Take the ark of God back into the city. If I find favor in the Lord's eyes, he will bring me back and let me see it and His dwelling place again. But if He says, 'I am not please with you,' then I am ready; let Him do to me whatever seems good to Him.'"
Wow. I just don't even know what to say. David was willing to be overthrown by his son, even to die, if it was what seemed good to God. Thinking about this prayer, I am convicted about the many times I seem to think that I know what will bring God the most glory in my life, despite His leading in another direction. "Oh, no, God, I know You said I should do this, but I really think what you meant to say was that I should do something else... but to You be the glory!" To be completely honest with you, I've been struggling a lot recently with not getting my way. I ask God, "Why do You have to make things so difficult? Why can't things just got the way I want them to?" I'm sure that if David had his way, he wouldn't be fleeing from his home or running away from his son who is trying to overthrow him. But David was willing to surrender what he wanted if it meant that God would be more pleased this other way.
I think a lot with missions, we, or at least I, expect things to go a certain way. The way we raise support, the way our team works, the travel plans we make, the people we meet and the relationships we build, even the conversations we have- they all will go a certain way. But what if they don't? What if support isn't raised right away? What if the team disagrees or the travel plans change? What if the conversations we planned to have go in a totally different direction? Even beyond short term missions, what if God calls me somewhere else than missions? What if He doesn't? Is it still ok? Will I still be able to say, "let Him do whatever seems good to Him."?
God,
I am learning, but I still have so much more to learn. May I desire Your will above my own. May the testimony of my life bring glory to You. You are good.
And... just because now it's stuck in my head:
Absalom wants to become king, so every day he goes to the gate of the city and tells people coming in that there is no one to listen to their complaints, but that if he were king, he would make sure they were heard! He also tells his dad (King David) that he wants to go to Hebron to worship, but brings a whole lot of other men with him. Basically, all of the people love Absalom (verse 13), which forces David and his family to leave Jerusalem for safety. A bunch of people follow David that he tells to go back to the city, if only to stir up trouble for Absalom and to bring him news of what's going down in Jerusalem. Zadok the priest (does anyone else think of Handel's song when they hear Zadok's name? No? Just me? Ok, then. Moving on...) Zadok also came with David and the group of Levites carrying the ark of the covenant came as well. However, David told them to take the ark back to Jerusalem. In fact, here is what verses 25 and 26 say, "The king said to Zadok, 'Take the ark of God back into the city. If I find favor in the Lord's eyes, he will bring me back and let me see it and His dwelling place again. But if He says, 'I am not please with you,' then I am ready; let Him do to me whatever seems good to Him.'"
Wow. I just don't even know what to say. David was willing to be overthrown by his son, even to die, if it was what seemed good to God. Thinking about this prayer, I am convicted about the many times I seem to think that I know what will bring God the most glory in my life, despite His leading in another direction. "Oh, no, God, I know You said I should do this, but I really think what you meant to say was that I should do something else... but to You be the glory!" To be completely honest with you, I've been struggling a lot recently with not getting my way. I ask God, "Why do You have to make things so difficult? Why can't things just got the way I want them to?" I'm sure that if David had his way, he wouldn't be fleeing from his home or running away from his son who is trying to overthrow him. But David was willing to surrender what he wanted if it meant that God would be more pleased this other way.
I think a lot with missions, we, or at least I, expect things to go a certain way. The way we raise support, the way our team works, the travel plans we make, the people we meet and the relationships we build, even the conversations we have- they all will go a certain way. But what if they don't? What if support isn't raised right away? What if the team disagrees or the travel plans change? What if the conversations we planned to have go in a totally different direction? Even beyond short term missions, what if God calls me somewhere else than missions? What if He doesn't? Is it still ok? Will I still be able to say, "let Him do whatever seems good to Him."?
God,
I am learning, but I still have so much more to learn. May I desire Your will above my own. May the testimony of my life bring glory to You. You are good.
And... just because now it's stuck in my head:
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
So, I'm going to be honest and let you all know that the reason I haven't posted in... like, a month?... is because I have no idea what to say! That's the bother with blogs! They always assume you have something to say! And while my parents would probably disagree, I don't always have words flowing out of my mouth... or in this case, fingers. :)
I thought I would take the time, though, to share with you all something that God has been teaching me recently. This is something that has been on my heart for awhile, and actually, I've had the opportunity to share it a couple of times with some people, but I thought it would fit well in a missions context as well. Since being back at school this semester, I have really felt inadequate in... well... a lot of what I'm involved with: my major, my ministry, my career aspirations, life... (Maybe that last one is a slight dramatization, but you get the point.) So, basically, I came to a point of realization that I am not equipped to do it ("it" being a non-specific word). I became so overwhelmed by obligations and expectations for everything that I just broke.
I wish that I could say that, in coming to God with my inadequacy, He said to me, "Don't be silly! You can do this!" Actually, He told me something quite different. Galatians 3:10-13 says, "All who rely on observing the law are under a curse, for it is written: 'Cursed is everyone who does not continue to everything written in the Book of the Law.' Clearly no one is justified before God by the law, because, 'The righteous will live by faith.' The law is not based on faith; on the contrary, 'the man who does these things will live by them.' Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written: 'Cursed is everyone who is hung on a tree.'" I know that these verses are talking about living by the law verses living by faith, and I don't mean to take them out of context, but I think this passage can be applied in this context as well. What God said to me was actually, "Elizabeth, you are right; you cannot do this on your own. But even before now, you have not been able to do it on your own." This passage in Galatians says that we have not reached God through our own efforts. In fact, if we do rely on our own efforts, we are "cursed." However, it is Christ who redeemed us from the curse! It was His efforts, not mine, that brought me to salvation, and it is His efforts in me that will lead me to victory in the plans He has laid out for me. Where I am weak, that is where He is able to show His strength, and where I cannot do it, He is able to be glorified. So, be encouraged! We all get to be a part of God's plan and work, and even when we feel inadequate, His still owns the victory!
That being said, I do have a financial update to give. Though the total amount of my trip will be somewhere around $3,600, I have already raised $2,100! Thank you so much to those who have helped in supporting me, be it through prayer or financially, or even both! It is SO encouraging to know that there are people behind my team and me as we prepare to take this trip to share God's Word! That being said, I still have a large chunk of money yet to raise, and I humbly ask that if you desire to support my team and me financially, that you take the opportunity to do so through this link. Thank you again to those who have already given, and please continue to pray for my team and me as we continue to prepare for our trip! I am sure that May will come sooner than expected and soon we will be off!
I thought I would take the time, though, to share with you all something that God has been teaching me recently. This is something that has been on my heart for awhile, and actually, I've had the opportunity to share it a couple of times with some people, but I thought it would fit well in a missions context as well. Since being back at school this semester, I have really felt inadequate in... well... a lot of what I'm involved with: my major, my ministry, my career aspirations, life... (Maybe that last one is a slight dramatization, but you get the point.) So, basically, I came to a point of realization that I am not equipped to do it ("it" being a non-specific word). I became so overwhelmed by obligations and expectations for everything that I just broke.
I wish that I could say that, in coming to God with my inadequacy, He said to me, "Don't be silly! You can do this!" Actually, He told me something quite different. Galatians 3:10-13 says, "All who rely on observing the law are under a curse, for it is written: 'Cursed is everyone who does not continue to everything written in the Book of the Law.' Clearly no one is justified before God by the law, because, 'The righteous will live by faith.' The law is not based on faith; on the contrary, 'the man who does these things will live by them.' Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written: 'Cursed is everyone who is hung on a tree.'" I know that these verses are talking about living by the law verses living by faith, and I don't mean to take them out of context, but I think this passage can be applied in this context as well. What God said to me was actually, "Elizabeth, you are right; you cannot do this on your own. But even before now, you have not been able to do it on your own." This passage in Galatians says that we have not reached God through our own efforts. In fact, if we do rely on our own efforts, we are "cursed." However, it is Christ who redeemed us from the curse! It was His efforts, not mine, that brought me to salvation, and it is His efforts in me that will lead me to victory in the plans He has laid out for me. Where I am weak, that is where He is able to show His strength, and where I cannot do it, He is able to be glorified. So, be encouraged! We all get to be a part of God's plan and work, and even when we feel inadequate, His still owns the victory!
That being said, I do have a financial update to give. Though the total amount of my trip will be somewhere around $3,600, I have already raised $2,100! Thank you so much to those who have helped in supporting me, be it through prayer or financially, or even both! It is SO encouraging to know that there are people behind my team and me as we prepare to take this trip to share God's Word! That being said, I still have a large chunk of money yet to raise, and I humbly ask that if you desire to support my team and me financially, that you take the opportunity to do so through this link. Thank you again to those who have already given, and please continue to pray for my team and me as we continue to prepare for our trip! I am sure that May will come sooner than expected and soon we will be off!
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