So, yesterday morning, before Sunday School started, I got a chance to catch up with some friends that I haven't seen in awhile. We chatted about how our semesters went, what our summer plans were, yatti-yatta-ya, and it was interesting to here how much our plans had changed since we got out of high school just a year ago. From music to worship, from missions to early education, from lawyer to professor, from music to sports medicine... it seems like everyone is deciding that their lives are meant to go in other directions. It just reminded me of how great God's plans are- so much greater than our own.
I love to be in-the-know. I love to know what's going on... not just in my own life, but in everyone else's, too! (God bless the man I marry!) Part of knowing what's going on is planning what's coming ahead, and I do that very well. Before I even packed up my stuff to head off to college, I thought I had my whole future planned out. I was going to study Teaching ESL. I was going to learn Chinese and travel to East Asia where I would teach English at a high school level. I was going to have a wonderful life living for God! Then, I got to college, and the reality of paving the way for my future really hit me like a brick in the head. When I regained conciousness, I became paniced and worried! Who am I to teach a foreign language to kids on the other side of the planet!? How am I supposed to learn Chinese when I barely passed Spanish in high school!? How in the world am I going to get over there, and who's going to give me a job!? Where am I going to take Chinese when I'm at a school who doesn't teach it!? Granted, a lot of these questions don't need answering in just your first year, but these were just a few of the many worries going through my head. There were so many times I thought about switching my major to Elementary Ed. I thought, "Who am I to teach a foreign language when I can't even learn one!? Why don't I just do something I know I enjoy and can do well?" I felt like everything I had planned was falling apart, and I didn't know what to do.
But you know, God showed me His sovereignty over all things. He showed me that He has a plan, and that I am in it. He has not allowed me to see the whole picture of His plan. I think that if I did, I wouldn't be dependent on Him like I need to be. But I am dependent on Him. I cannot lean on my own understanding, but I have to fully rely on him to show me where I need to go. His plans may not always be my plans, but they are always better than my own plans. This is something I've learned. It's been tough planning for next year. Class schedules are never fun to figure out, and it seems like I've had an especially difficult time putting mine together, getting the classes I need, getting the credit hours I need, getting into the programs I need... it's all a big mess, and I have to admit, there are times I get mighty anxious and worried about what's going to happen, but I know that God is in control. Perhaps I won't get into the classes I need next semester. Perhaps I won't get the job that I want. Perhaps I won't become a great English teacher in China. I just need to take it one step at a time, and follow where God leads. He knows what He's doing. He's got it all planned out, and though I may not know what the plan is right now, I know it's gonna be great! :)